I don't have a #1 caliber because it depends on the gun I am carrying. In my hands, 9mm would be too powerful for a Ruger LCP II or similar size/weight pocket pistol, and .357 SIG would be too powerful for a G43 or P365 (in my opinion). What I really favor is
the .355" bullet diameter for concealed carry handguns (.380 ACP, .9mm Parabellum & .357 SIG). I prefer to carry my SIG P229 in .357 SIG because it is marginally better than the rest (and perhaps significantly better potentially), but for anything lighter than my SIG I carry either 9mm or .380 ACP.
I like .357 SIG better than 10mm, for example, because the lighter bullets should suffer less from over penetration (especially Underwood/Lehigh Defense XD rounds), yet, they can deliver similar energy to that round and often exceeds factory .357 Magnum rounds (though the latter can obviously be loaded hotter).
On average, .357 SIG appears to take fewer rounds to stop someone than .380 ACP, 9mm, .40 S&W or .45 ACP. Statistically it fails to incapacitate slightly less than, not only these calibers, but also .44 Magnum (which over penetrates) and even 12 Gauge shotguns (and is tied with .357 Magnum & centerfire rifles). Note: shotguns and rifles are much more lethal, but not any more effective in stopping people in typical self defense situations.
.357 SIG tends to shoot flatter, faster and more accurately than .380 ACP, 9mm, or .40S&W though .45 ACP is a little more accurate (but doesn't benefit from this accuracy).
Theoretically, .357 SIG should jam less often because of its bottleneck design.
It typically has less recoil than heavier calibers .40S&W and up (though it has more muzzle blast; but it can be hand loaded to be as tame as 9mm).
The percentage of people actually incapacitated by one shot (torso or head shots) is better for .357 SIG than .380 ACP, 9mm, .40 S&W, or .45 ACP.
Lastly, because of its expense for departments in terms of both ammunition and maintenance (.357 SIG pistols wear out more quickly compared to other calibers), the commercial options have never been nearly as plentiful as with other calibers, so I don't think its true potential has been realized. The imperfect study that I gleaned most of this information from (
An Alternate Look at Handgun Stopping Power | Buckeye Firearms Association) was conducted before the XD rounds I mentioned were available, for example. Had these rounds been available for .357 SIG I believe it could have widen the gap further because of the velocity and lighter weight of the bullets. Even lightening a .45 or .40 still can't deliver as much energy because of the BC of the .355" bullets which helps with velocity.
Don't get me wrong, as the study points out, all these calibers are all good options and there isn't much of a difference between them practically speaking. Shot placement is the most important thing, but if we're going to tease out the comparison for the best caliber, I believe all these reasons make .357 SIG the best candidate. Not perhaps for police departments, other agencies and the military because they have to arm hundreds or thousands of people (as the costs I mentioned add up), but for individuals carrying guns that easily handle the .357 SIG I believe it has an edge. Whether that difference is worth it is up to the person's budget and personal preferences (like the size and weight of the firearm they like to carry). This last point is the only thing other than price that prevents me from truly favoring this caliber. But whether I am carrying a small, medium, or large-size concealed carry firearm, .355" diameter bullets are my favorites (thought I still carry .40 as well). The interesting thing about 9mm is that in this study, it was the only larger caliber (not counting .25 ACP, .32 ACP and .380 ACP) that were mostly FMJ bullets. Think about that. Remember, these were approximately 1,800 people shot with the various calibers, and the failure to incapacitate rate for 9mm was 13% which tied .44 Magnum, .40 S&W, and technically beat .45 ACP (all of which mostly used HP bullets). That makes 9mm Parabellum the king for using cheap ammo, but like I mentioned, the .357 SIG can be loaded to replicate 9mm in virtually every way. Anyway, that's just my opinion. No study is perfect, everyone is flawed including this one, but it's the best information I have to go on. I also happen to believe a lighter bullet delivering over 500 ft. lbs. of energy to produce hydrostatic shock is what largely sets .357 SIG and .357 Magnum apart (see the controversial Courtney & Courtney:
https://a.org/abs/1102.1642), but everyone has their opinions. It certainly doesn't mean I am right.