Get a nine or get a .45, the .40 sucks and is a compromise round, when you compromise nobody really gets what they want. I hate the recoil of a .40 it's snappy(not heavy) and my follow up shots are poor compared to 9mm or .45acp.
Some people call it a compromise...
....others might call it a balance.
In compact models, G30 (.45) and the G23 (.40)
.....the .40 has less recoil* (8.56 vs. 9.36 ft/lbs; -9%)....
.....the .40 holds more rounds (13+1 vs. 10+1; +27%).....
.....the .40 weighs less (8.14 vs. 9.36 oz; -15% )....
.....the .40 has more energy* (412 vs 391 ft/lbs; +5%)
and a shorter length of pull.
If length of pull is a factor, you can train for "snappy recoil", but you can't train for bigger hands.
Of course you can get a .45 GAP or have a grip reduction done.
*Based on factory Remington Golden Saber (.40/180 gr) (.45/230 gr)