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You're a Redneck When......

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by scooterbear, Jul 17, 2003.

  1. scooterbear

    scooterbear

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
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    Location:
    Summit, MS
    You Know You're a Redneck When...2003 Edition!
    >
    > 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
    >
    > 2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
    >
    > 3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    >
    > 4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.
    >
    > 5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
    >
    > 6. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
    >
    > 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
    it.
    >
    > 8. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
    >
    > 9. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
    >
    > 10. Your grandmother has Ammo on her Christmas list.
    >
    > 11. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
    >
    > 12. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
    >
    > 13. You have used a rag for a gas cap.
    >
    > 14. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
    >
    > 15. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
    >
    > 16. You can spit without opening your mouth.
    >
    > 17. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made
    it.
    >
    > 18. You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on
    the side.
    >
    > 19. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
    >
    > 20. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
    >
    > 21. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
    >
    > 22. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings
    you home.
    >
    > 23. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of
    improvement.
    >
    > 24. You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
    >
    > 25. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty
     
  2. doubletap1

    doubletap1

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2000
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    1,650
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    Location:
    Phoenix

    HEY!!!....Doesn't everybody do that? (Please tell me I'm not a redneck...;P)