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You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Mar 7, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    You ski uphill.

    You speed walk in your sleep.

    You answer the door before people knock.

    You sleep with your eyes open.

    You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to
    knit.

    You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

    You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

    The only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.

    You lick your coffeepot clean.

    Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

    The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

    You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

    You don't need a hammer to pound nails.

    You don't sweat, you percolate.

    You've worn out the handles on your favorite mug.

    You've built a miniature city out of plastic stirrers.

    People get dizzy just watching you.

    People can test their batteries in your ears.

    When someone asks you," How are you?" you answer," Good to the
    last drop."

    Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

    You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

    Your Thermos is on wheels.

    You can outlast the Energizer Bunny.

    You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

    You think being called a drip is a compliment.

    You don't tan, you roast.

    You don't get mad, you get steamed.

    You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

    You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
     
    taffbanjo, kirgi08 and MO Fugga like this.
  2. porschedog

    porschedog

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    These ate great! Thanks. I LOVE coffee!!!
     

  3. porschedog

    porschedog

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    My blood type is Folgers.
     
  4. gt joe

    gt joe "This... is my BOOMstick!"

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    Lol
    My blood type is Starbucks!
     
  5. MO Fugga

    MO Fugga Malt Liqra® Lifetime Member

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    Miss ya, big guy.
     
  6. kirgi08

    kirgi08 Watcher. Silver Member

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  7. SCmasterblaster

    SCmasterblaster G17 carrier since 1989 Millennium Member

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    I know when I have drinked too much coffee is when I have to make my bladder gladder!
     
  8. Paul53

    Paul53 Installing SKYNET daily.

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    "Too much coffee." Sorry, I don't understand the question.
     
  9. G-34

    G-34

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    Well let me, the other end of the spectrum type of person, help you understand that even a mouthful of coffee is too much.

    I love the stuff, but don't like sitting on the toilet for 2.5 hours after I take a sip.

    That my friend, is the definition of "too much coffee".


    Edit to add: rest in peace okie!
     
  10. EdTracker

    EdTracker GTDS Lifetime Member

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    Coffee is liquid motivation! One can never be too motivated.