Some of the funny stuff I collated from various sources. Enjoy! You know you love 1911s when... - You hear "45" you think of a gun and not a record. - 1911 was a good year even though you were not alive then. - You clean your pistol more carefully than you clean yourself. - "Magazines" are no longer just something you read. - John Moses Browning is your hero. - 25 yards isn't too far away anymore. - The term "cocked and locked" isn't scary to you. - Paying 25 cents to pull back your index finger seems perfectly reasonable. - A 22 caliber hole just looks sad. - Your thumbs have become really strong (from loading bullets - and who needs a bushing wrench anyway?) - You trade so many 1911's you get one of your own back! - When the words beaver and tail conjure up images of a 1911 accessory part. - You use a special cloth on your 1911 and it isn't allowed to touch other guns. - When you unconsciously hit the thumb safety every time you grab an everyday object like a coffee cup or pencil. - Honey, lock the door! I'm cocked and locked and ready to rock! - Doc, my internals are starting to show signs of wear. - You drive a Hyundai so you can afford that Heinie. - You by-pass the men's magazine stand at your local book store, and head straight for the gun rag rack! - You Pause, Zoom, and Frame Advance your DVD movies during any scene with a 1911. - You cringe when even a prop-gun 1911 is dropped in a movie - You root for the character good or bad that's carrying the 1911 - You still watch Magnum PI re-runs - You "draw" your cell phone and "speed reload" your car keys! - You consider yourself a "1911 missionary," trying to save the poor souls who don't yet own at least one 1911. - You're like old friends with a total stranger when you each ask to see a 1911 from behind the counter, while others are busy looking at the plastic, smaller caliber guns. - You own two copies of the same model 1911 and are considering a third so you can leave one stock, tweak the other a little, and have the third in case something happens to one of the other two! - You completely unload and reload all of your magazines every night before you go to bed, "just to make sure." - You giggle at every little sexual innuendo because it makes you think of guns, instead of the other way around. - You detail strip your pistol every day because it's "fun." - "Browning" seems like a perfectly reasonable name for a baby girl. - You fantasize about being able to afford the trip to Gunsite. And not for the training either, but just to meet Jeff Cooper. - You're at the grocery store and none of the melons you buy are to eat. - You're too sick to go to work, but convince yourself that you feel well enough to go to the range "just for a little while." - You stare at yourself in the mirror holding your pistol, just because it looks really cool. - You have a ballistics charts, magazine photos and a poster of John Moses Browning hanging in your garage instead of a Snap-On calender. - Brownell's is on your speed-dial. - You talk about Les Baer, Ed Brown and Bill Wilson like you know them, but you really don't even know what they look like. - You have a Brownell's catalog in the magazine rack in your bathroom... And one on the coffee table... And one on the nightstand... And one in the car. - You stop in at your local gunshop at least once a week under the guise of chatting with the employees, but really you just want to see if they have any new Kimber, Springfield or Dan Wesson catalogs. - You don't need to start a group buy to get the 40+ discount on Metalforms. - You know you love 1911s' when you hear Sheryl Crow sing "Soak Up The Sun" where she sings "I'm going to put my 45 on" and you're thinking of her wearing a 1911 instead of the rating of a sunscreen. - Your holster cost twice as much as your last pair of dress shoes. - You own more holsters than your wife has shoes. - You throw the words "John Moses Browning" into every conversation with a Utah resident, assuming they'll know who you're talking about. - You consider converting to Mormonism. - You make your grandma tell everyone that she was born in 1911, just so you can here somebody say the word "1911" at family gatherings. - On the 19th of every month at 11 o'clock, you have a moment of silence. - When a neighbour asks to borrow a hammer, you ask "Spur or commander?" - You want a bumpersticker that says "Friends don't let friends buy Glocks" - When paying for ammo is more important than eating - You take the day off in Rememberence of JMB's Birthday. - You feel good with a seven round magazine because you know you only need one round - When you buy your wife her own 1911 so she'll keep her little paws off your Colt Gov 80 IV, SA TRP, and Wilson CQB. - When you name them(like I'm the only one thats done that). - When they get their own shelf in the safe. - When you go to shoot a glock and your thumb can't find the safety. - When you were given your Dads 1911 he carried in WW II you refused to shoot it. Instead you only clean it. I was never in the military so I feel I have not earned the right to shoot it. - When your wife asks you "how come you don't look at me like that anymore?" - When your carry your H&K locked and cocked - When you see a soldier carrying a 1911 and you say to yourself "why don't he clean that thing?!" - When you see an old worn out 1911 in a pawnshop and you buy it because you feel sorry for the old gal. - You look at your dining room table and wish it were Cocobolo. - You ask the salesman if they make furniture in Cocobolo. - You actually have furniture in Cocobolo. - You see the grain weight on a 9mm Luger and think: "Where's the OTHER half of the bullet?" - You OWN other types of handguns, but do not discuss or display them. - You wish you were that guy that weighed 900 pounds and had to get a tow truck to take him to the hospital, so that your pant legs would be large enough to conceal a full-sized 1911 in an ankle holster. - You believe that "Kimberly" is two letters too long. - When you're admitted to the hospital you get a Get Well card from SA saying "Get Well Soon, Can't make it Without You".