had an issue similar to this when I switched police departments from a large city with high crime to a small city with generally nonexistent crime. I was told I needed to be friendlier towards the residents, less abrasive when dealing with subjects, etc. I'm not a small guy, I do have an imposing presence, as I've been told before. I had a similar upbringing with a very strict Army vet father who did not take any crap. What they are asking of you is to change who you are. I'd keep interactions at work strictly business. Not much else you can do. Or you could enter a career in police work or the fire service where that type of persona is needed and appreciated.