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Words of wisdom

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Aug 10, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious.
    In two words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. Crap HAPPENS!.
    Accept than some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
    The best vitamin for making friends: B1.
    If you can't be the tablecloth, don't be the dishrag.
    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
    I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
    I'm not just a gardener, I'm a Plant Manager.
    On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
    You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
    I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
    There are two rules for ultimate success in life: (1) Never tell everything you know.
    Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
    Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
    There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get any worse.
    There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
    You'll never be the man your mother was!
    Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
    Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
    Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
    Don't cook tonight -- starve a rat today!
    God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.