Women vs. Men

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Ranger.357, Sep 5, 2007.

  1. Ranger.357

    Ranger.357

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    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

    WOMEN'S REVENGE
    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
    (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women.
    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

    MARRIAGE SEMINAR
    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
    Pillsbury, isn't it?

    CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
    The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
    He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
    She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

    (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
    :shocked:
     
  2. PrincessCelica

    PrincessCelica

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    I'm the exact opposite. I am afraid of waxing, but not spiders.