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Winner ang English!!

  1. We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma
    mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only
    now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the
    eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.
    And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I
    get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He
    explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect
    me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya,
    The! Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya!
    I cried buckles of tears.

    Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a
    blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch
    na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks
    God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time.
    After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in
    a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This
    is true good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

    Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces.
    Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may
    babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the
    fuss! The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told
    her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get
    our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling
    her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other
    woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own
    business!" Who would believe her anyway?

    Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na
    rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy.
    Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look
    at is this way. She's our of our lives."

    Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just
    burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a
    mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your
    soul. I second emotion.

  2. shocks, this is quite an exercise in reading comprehension :shocked:
  3. Yup , yan ang panalo! :)
  4. Phew!:phew: :phew:

    Another one, this time Commonwealth-vintage from a school teacher, which I read in the Philippine Star some years ago (feel free to correct it):

    Sir, I would like to resignate from my position because my works are many and my salaries are few, besides my supervisor makes lovings to me but I say Not! Not! Not!:supergrin:
  5. eto na ang part 2, dito may names na. kumbaga, makikilala ninyo kung sino ang lalaki sa istorya ire, binata pa siya noon (panahon ng hapon). lilinawin ko lang na ang babaeng sumulat ay nadivorce sa bandang huli. matinik itong si dante talaga :supergrin:

    I thought Dante's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven
    only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Dante
    received a uninamous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking
    feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him. Pero
    sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang
    ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." But I didn't know what to say.
    Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl
    yun. Dante said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him. Kahit
    di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?

    Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole.
    After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on
    Jeff's ears. Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. Sabi
    na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Dante. That's what I'm talking about it.

    So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Dante. That's what
    friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I had to
    do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug
    down rate.

    When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di
    basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient.
    It's my favorite virtue nga e." Nagduda yata yung isang guard.
    Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti
    na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join us."

    When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang
    nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a
    bird's IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a
    room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.

    Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis
    ba ako o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think that
    Dante and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower
    my expectations. But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron
    is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I barraged
    in. O my gas! Si Dante, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig
    sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was
    bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend
    niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko
    napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter.

    Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search
    and rescue Dante. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.

    Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I
    know it's a better pill to swallow your fried so it's forgive and
    forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put
    on makeup.

    Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is
    really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms
    persist, insult your doctor.

    joke joke joke bwahahahha:banana: :rofl: :animlol:
  6. Mukhang ako dinadale ah!

    Waits lang. I will just buys more Englishes.
    Saka nako sasagot. Punta pa'ko Trinoma. Habol coding.
  7. syado ka naman assuming, hindi lang naman ikaw ang dante in the pilipins:animlol:
  8. :thumbsup:
  9. Plus the famous saying to somebody who, despite advice, went and got into a sticky situation:

  10. Ayos!:thumbsup:

    Wala lang sana hihirit ng English translation :supergrin:
  11. Hey, can I save and print them both? I need some comic relief from solving other people's problems.:)
  12. [​IMG]
  13. My headache concurred. I ceased and deceased reading the second fart.:supergrin:
  14. paalam ka muna kay dante:supergrin:

    seriously, no problem. i just got them from a chainmail din
  15. Galeng hahaha:rofl:
  16. Wait a monument, what is all the locomotion here. Oh I see, it is a joke. Can I enjoy you at laughing? :rofl:
  17. ow, i taught i am being heat. Donut naman pala.
    The MOYA-L of the stories is: if your wife tolds you NOT to MOVE...YOU DONUT MOVEMENT. Perform your duty as if you are education. Because her loving to you is gigantic, her decision making must be reflected.
  18. Tenks! I just wanted to paalamize muna...:)
  19. graduation speech of a proud father. " I am very happiness today because my son is graduation day. i will kill a boy carabao and all my chicken i will die. i will invite you to eat my house and i will eat you one by one." a favorite teacher in elementary," if you do not silence, i will tie you to the flag ceremony!" a classmate in high school, " pls. pass the sugar, my hands cannot arive.":laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
  20. hanep ka magpatawa, para kang kalbo ah:tongueout: :rofl:
  21. ha ha ha!!

    nakakatawa dito!:animlol:
  22. :rofl: baka meron pa kyo post nyo pa :animlol:
  23. from a politician...

    nung pumunta anak kong nurse sa states worried ako na baka mahirapan siya sa pagpunta at pabalik mula sa trabaho, tapos nalaman ko sa kanya malapit lang pala sa apartment niya yung hospital, in short -"WORKING DISTANCE LANG..."

  24. Log-taga naman:


    B, K, W, L, K, M, G, W, P, R, M, S, Y, T, W, K, H,
    H, H, H, H
    T, W, P, H, H, H, H, H
    T, M, N, P, R, K, N, T, NGa!

    P, R, N, man, M, K, B, wi K S T ong G lit K P S mo to. H,
    H, H, H, H
  25. :rofl: :animlol: