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Windows - New York Edition

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Apr 21, 2007.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
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    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Dear Consumas:

    It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS 2000/BROOKLYN
    EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn. If ya got one a
    dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands. Da
    Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads:
    "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza.

    When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you
    hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

    Please also note:

    * Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island."
    * My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa."
    * The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."
    * Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out"
    * Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."
    * Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."
    * Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family
    business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it down.
    *Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour."
    * Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops
    up.

    CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:

    OK...................Sure ting
    Cancel...........Fugetaboutit
    Reset.............Start Ova
    Yes................Yeah
    No...................Nah
    Find................Put a contract out on
    Browse..........Get a looksee
    Back...............U toin
    Help................(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinkin' help)
    Stop.................Knock it off
    Start.................Move it!
    Settings..........Here's d' Rules

    Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BROOKLYN EDITION
    platform don't recognize da letter "R."

    Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 2000:

    Typa................A word processin' program
    Printa...............Printer
    Calculata..........Calculator
    Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

    We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of da
    BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

    You got a problem wit dat?