# Windows 98 SE: Southern Edition

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Rooster Rugburn, Jun 24, 2002.

1. ### Rooster RugburnGot Pignose?

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So you Yankees can laugh with us, not at us.

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding its' commands. The Southern Edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen-saver.

"The "Recycle Bin" is labeled "Outhouse"

"My Computer" is called "This Dern Contraption"

"Dial up Networking" is called "Good Ol' Boys"

"Control Panel" is known as the "The Dashboard"

"Hard Drive" is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"

"Floppies" are "them little ol' plastic disc thangs"

Instead of an "error message" a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:

OK . . . . . . . . . .ats aw-right

Cancel . . . . . . .. stop dat

Reset . . . . . . . . .try er agin

Yes . . . . . . . . . .yep

No . . . . . . . . . . nope

Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it

Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder

Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder

Help . . . . . . . . . . hep me out here

Stop . . . . . . . . . kwit it

Start . . . . . . . . . crank 'er up

Settings . . . . . . . settins

Programs . . . . . . stuff at duz stuff

Documents . . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital
letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are
exclusive to "Winders 98":

Tiperiter . . . . . . . . . a word processing program

colerin book . . . . . . . a graphics program

cyferin mersheen . . . . . calculator

outhouse paper . . . . . . notepad

iner-net . . . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0

pichers . . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it
to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps
all y'all!

Sincerely,

Billy Bob Gates

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LOL!

PP;i

3. ### 1loneranger

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Huntsville, AL NOW Hartselle, AL
That was great!

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