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Wife's Church Testimony

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by BobRicks, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. BobRicks


    Likes Received:
    Feb 19, 2001
    NE Texas
    A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as
    some churches call it, "Cry Sunday", one Sunday morning, took the
    microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

    "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum."

    The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were
    obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. "Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion.

    I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and
    pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as
    good as new."

    A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of
    this terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were
    visibly shaken up with the thought that, "there but for the
    grace of God go I."

    Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst
    of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit,
    obviously in pain,adjusted the microphone to his liking,
    then leaned over and said to the congregation:

    "My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill.
    That word is: STERNUM!"
  2. eddief4


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    Jun 8, 2006
    Fort Myers, Florida

  3. Glockrunner

    Glockrunner HOOYA DEEPSEA

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    Sep 10, 2001