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Wife

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Sep 30, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    A Wife
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    WHAT EVERY MAN EXPECTS IN A WIFE

    ~ She will always be beautiful and cheerful.

    ~ She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.

    ~ She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.

    ~ Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.

    ~ She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelery and fur coats.

    ~ She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it's good for her figure.

    ~ She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV,
    painting the house, and keeping quiet.

    ~ Her favourite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shovelling snow.

    ~ She will hate charge cards.

    ~ Her favourite expression will be, "What can I do for you, honey?"

    ~ She will think you have Einstein's brain but look like Mr. America.

    ~ She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done.

    ~ She will love you because you're so sexy.



    WHAT HE USUALLY GETS

    ~ She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.

    ~ She was once a model for a totem pole.

    ~ Where there's smoke, there she is -- cooking.

    ~ She's a light eater...once it gets light, she starts eating.

    ~ She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you do,
    and everything you say.

    ~ No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an
    explosion in a steel wool factory.

    ~ If you get lost, open your wallet and she'll find you.