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Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jul 13, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Muskogee Ok.
    Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
    Why do they call it ?Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? when they know the answer is going to be everyone?
    Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
    If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn't an exterminator be the opposite?
    How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?
    If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?
    Why is a woman in a suit a "business person? but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?
    When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?
    Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?
    Could a tanning bed kill a vampire? If not would they get a tan?
    How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?
    Can you make cheese out of human breast milk?
    IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
    If you cut off a glowworm's tail would it be delighted?
    If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn?t you be able to go anywhere you want?
    If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
    What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
    If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn?t we now be seeing people from the future?
    Do pyromaniacs wear blazers?
    If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
    Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?
    Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?
    If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st ? January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
    If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
    Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
    When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
    If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say "30 minutes" then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you??
    Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?
    When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what?s the difference?
    Can a person choke and die on a life savor?
    Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
    What happens when you say ?hi? to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
    If you took a compass to outer space would it still point "magnetic north"? Is there still a north, south, east, and west in space?
    Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?
    Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
    Do you ever notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?
    Why do people who don?t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?
    Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?
    Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?
    On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren't even in the word?
    How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
    If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
    Do Dutch people always split the bill?
    Can you sleep forever without being in coma?
    Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?
    If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
    How come it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathcliff Huxtible?
    If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn't it get better fuel mileage?
    Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
    How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
    Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
    Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
    Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?
    If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
    Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
    Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
    If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
    that they forgot?
    If you died with braces on would they take them off?
    Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
    If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
    If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
    Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
    Do cows have calf muscles?
    How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
    Do babies produce more spit than adults?
    Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
    Why do you go ?back and forth? to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
    Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
    Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
    Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
    If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
    Why do dogs sniff other dog?s bottoms to say hello, why don?t they just bark in their face or something?
    Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
    free?
    If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
    You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
    people that work nights?
    Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
    Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
    Why is a square meal served on round plates?
    Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
    Which way does a compass point in space?
    Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
    Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
    If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
    Why did Mary own a little lamb?
    If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
    Why can?t a baby cry while it?s inside its mother?
    If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
    If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
    Why are Pringles curved?
    What happens if your snot freezes in your nose?
    Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
    If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
    Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be ?under par? in any thing else?
    Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?
    Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
    Can bald men get lice??
    How come popcorn isn't a vegetable?
    Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
    Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
    Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
    Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
    Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?
    If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
    How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?
    How come only car keys are the only keys with teeth on both sides?
    Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
    Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?
    When something's funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when you actually slap your thigh?
    Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more?
    Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
    If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
    Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
    Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
    Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to
    eat a big one?
    Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
    Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
    Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
    If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?