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Why Men Don't Want to Marry Nowadays

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Kurly, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    Our farrier is married to the local anesthesiologist.
    The realtor who sold us our house decades ago has no moved to seven+ digit ranches exclusively. Her husband collects our garbage.
    The county attorney's husband works in a paint and body shop.

    HH
     
  2. brisk21

    brisk21

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    I am married, but I asked a buddy why he would never get married. His answer is as follows: "Because women don't know their place anymore, and thats why there is so many divorces. Once they (women) started voting, burning their bras, and invading the workplace, marriage stopped working. Marriage was designed when the man was the head of the household, the provider, the one in charge. Now that is all gone."
     

  3. Rabbi

    Rabbi The Bombdiggity Lifetime Member

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    For an observation, In Texas, if you have lived together for "a while" if one party contests assets, the courts will look at it pretty much the same as if you had a government document.

    And you are right, there is no timeframe in Texas law. It is realy more of an joint asset issue than any timeframe.
     
  4. HollowHead

    HollowHead Firm member

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    I'd find new buddies. HH
     
  5. Kurly

    Kurly

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    Little bit of both....I take full responsibility for my stupid, stupid decision.

    We only dated 6 months but for a lot of reasons and her ability to distort the truth, she made it seem like she was the one (we were supposed to have gone out 3 years ago when I was on Match.com, her Mom had breast cancer and she carried the Bracca-1 gene and had just recently had a double mastectomy so there was a lot of "commonality" there). I had just lost my Mom due to breast cancer, had to put my dog down after 13 years and lost my job. So yeah, I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind. But I was financially solvent with no worries about making ends meet and in fact improved her lifestyle GREATLY while we were married.

    Little did I know what the entitled, narcissistic princess she was until after we got hitched. But thankfully I got out quickly when she falsely accused me of DV and said she was in 'fear of her life because I had guns in the house'. She took me for over $50k in just 14 months.

    I've chalked it up to an expensive learning experience but truth be told, when she went off birth control without telling me and wound up miscarrying, I could have been on the hook for a lot, lot more.
     
  6. Kurly

    Kurly

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    Yes, that is true....but those type of situations are most certainly the exception.

    My Mom was one who was taken by her husband of 10 years for over $800,000. He was a POS from the day we met him and my brothers and I, including her friends, urged her not to marry him but she did anyway. And for the first year or so, all we heard from him was how successful he was, how great his kids were, etc. etc. Turns out he didn't have a pot to pi$$ in and 2 of his 4 kids didn't talk to him.

    Yes, there are men out there like that but most women aren't as naive as my mother was. Huge heart, but trusting to a fault.
     
  7. Kurly

    Kurly

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    Bingo....we have a winner.
     
  8. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    Quick glance at the BLS shows that in nearly 30% of couples, the wives earn more than the husbands.

    According to this graphic (based on census data), in roughly 10% of couples, the wife earns twice as much or more as the husband.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
  9. Kurly

    Kurly

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    Huh...there's no designation that this graph came from the BLS, but assuming that it's in fact true, why then is that 97% of all alimony is paid by men? How could that be true if these women were the breadwinners? Here's a link to a WSJ article that substantiates it:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703399204574505700448957522.html
     
  10. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    The first number I quoted came from the BLS (link), the source cited for the graph is the US Census Bureau but I did not make it and cannot swear to its accuracy. I just found it through google image search once.

    I don't know the answer, but off the top of my head I can think of several possible explanations. Perhaps the divorced men don't ask for alimony. Perhaps couples where the woman earns more are less likely to get divorced. Perhaps the trend of women earning more is so recent that the change hasn't been seen in alimony statistics yet.

    The point is, the two things are related but not exclusive. It's entirely possible for both facts to be true.

    I wouldn't say it "substantiates" it at all. The story used an example of a wife being ordered to pay alimony to her ex-husband. Many of the examples were from Massachusetts, which is the last state in the entire country to award long-term alimony like that.
     
  11. Kurly

    Kurly

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    Thanks for the clarification and link on the BLS chart.

    Regarding your comment: "I don't know the answer, but off the top of my head I can think of several possible explanations. Perhaps the divorced men don't ask for alimony. Perhaps couples where the woman earns more are less likely to get divorced. Perhaps the trend of women earning more is so recent that the change hasn't been seen in alimony statistics yet."

    I think you're spot on that many men don't ask for alimony. I've read on several divorce boards that a lot of men simply walked away from pursuing alimony (even though they may have been entitled to it) because a:) they simply wanted to be done with their wife b) social stigma for a man to be 'taken care of' by a woman.

    Where the woman earns more money and is less likely to get divorced I think is also spot on. Much like it is for men to remain in a marriage because financially it would hurt them to get out so they remain in a sexless/loveless marriage or do so for their kids.

    And I do think the recent economic demise has affected men disproportionately than women. At least the unemployment figures certainly attest to that. Far more men have lost their jobs than women. I would guestimate some of that is due to PC policies that make it more difficult for an employer to down-size a female or the company's interest in maintaining their 'diversity' numbers. Therefore it's easier to lay a man off than a woman who could potentially file a discrimination lawsuit. Not too easy for a man (white male at that) to do so.

    All that said, there is a growing Marriage Strike taking place in our country and it's a rapidly growing one. Those born after 1970 have seen the result of the War on Men and don't want to wind up like their buddies, fathers, uncle or family friends where the man took a HUGE economic hit when their exwife decided she no longer wanted to be in a marriage. And given that both sexes cheat at almost the same rate now, it's not simply an infidelity issue -- less than 25% of divorces occur because of infidelity and yet over 70% of marriages are initiated by women.

    Where else would you enter into a contract that says you have a 50/50 chance of losing half of your assets, provide 20-40% of your income for either lifetime (in some states until she remarried) for alimony or until she remarries, and child support for up to 18 years? Even if she was the one who cheated or wanted out?

    Please take a look at this article -- it'll re-orientate your perspective on the double-standard and pitfalls when it comes to marriage...and why a growing number of males are simply opting out:

    http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/

    I'd also urge you to read an article from the Futurist that shows why Marriage 2.0 is a lose-lose proposition the majority of the time for men. It's got links to the data behind what the article discusses. Quite enlightening:

    http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
  12. vikingsoftpaw

    vikingsoftpaw DEPLORABLE ME!

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    Also a point to consider from the females prospective: Marriage/relationship to a man who is paying 30-50% of take-home income to another women for children he had with her.

    Now I know why conversation that I strike up with ladies my age quickly get to the subjects of my profession and the number of children I have.
     
  13. silentpoet

    silentpoet

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    I want to marry, I just ain't found the right one yet. Going to keep looking till there's nothing left.
     
  14. Kurly

    Kurly

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    True.

    But I thought feminism was all about "equality". Why, if she *LOVES* you, then she should "understand" and be "thankful" that you're being a responsible father to take care of your kids.

    Wouldn't she want her kid's father to do the same? ;-)

    Somehow it doesn't work both ways....does it?

    LOL. And women wonder why men are starting to wise up and see them for who they are.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
  15. Kurly

    Kurly

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    And until then...keep it wrapped! :)
     
  16. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    You're conflating lots of different things, and jumping all over the place a bit.

    My wife married me knowing that I was paying a sizeable portion of my income in child support, and that I would be doing so for the next dozen or so years. She's proud of me for taking care of my kids.

    There's a difference between noticing a beautiful woman and acting like a pig.
     
  17. Gray_Rider

    Gray_Rider

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  18. silentpoet

    silentpoet

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    Sadly don't have to. But it is amazing how much debt you can knock out when you don't spend it on a woman.
     
  19. Antipaladin

    Antipaladin

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    One of my best friends just finished up 25 years on the job working 60-80 hours a week the whole time. Patrol, road jobs, details...whatever it took to put a roof over his family's head and food on the table. His wife never worked a day in the marriage. He was looking forward to finally being able to spend quality time with his 4 still high school and younger kids and wife. Oh no. The week after he puts in his retirement papers, the witch files for divorce. Takes half his pension and 48% of the new crappy job's takehome. He lives in a ****ty studio apartment. He lost his house because she stopped paying the mortgage and bills 6 months earlier knowing she was leaving...then moves in with the boyfriend immediately living rent free. She also took his truck in the divorce and gave it to her boyfriend. I don't think he's getting married again. :steamed:
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2013
  20. devildog2067

    devildog2067

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    Uhh... they were still SLAVES. How do you not get this? It matters not whether people were treated worse elsewhere in the world. They were still property. Owning people is wrong.