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Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Kurly, Feb 17, 2013.
You seem to be equating a loss of productivity with the status of one's parents when one is born.
Maybe you meant children who grow up in single or no parent households versus those in a dual parent household.
Even then, you'd still be wrong (on productivity).
Check the statistics for just about any country in Europe, Canada, the USA, Japan, etc. Stark numbers don't lie, but your bias (clear and evident here) will always incline one away from the truth.
And most cannot understand that a couple can marry without going to the state for a license, said license being the adhesion contract that gives the state jurisdiction.
I've been married for more than a decade, closer to 2 decades. We have very intertwined lives, assets, expenses...a bunch of kids, and lots of fun hanging out together.
If your union was great and is starting to falter, it is your responsibility (each of you) to find out what is going on and address it. Not all unions are "fixable" (hard drugs, criminal activity, addictions, death, stresses, mental illness). Our joint goal is to give this our best shot.
Only because they are prohibited from doing so.
And when they marry, the divorce rate is much lower compared to heteros.
"Men won the battle of the sexes when women started pole dancing for exercise"
Crazy, Stupid, Love
Marriage is about far more than sex.
Because it's fun? My wedding was a blast, although I didn't pay for much of it (her family insisted on doing it the "traditional" way with the bride's family paying for most of it.)
As you point out, that's not for this thread. I'll leave it at this nugget:
Yes, divorce increased sharply. Why?
Because women had the ability to leave marriages, that's why.
Is that a bad thing? Sometimes, sure. But other times, the new opportunity to be able to hold a job meant being able to leave an abusive or philandering spouse. There were many, many women who stayed married because they had no other choice. Things have changed, and in some ways they have changed for the good.
I'm divorced. My kids are not "fatherless." Parenting is harder when you're not around all the time, but it can be done.
Yes, it most certainly was meant to. A woman shouldn't have to put their "families and husbands" first--they should choose to do so if they like, not be forced to.
Main thing I'm scared about getting married is the possibility of divorce, and being screwed out of money and my things. I plan on buying a small farm at some point if i dont inherit my papaws later on down the road and I know if I did, if things went sour, she'd be trying to go after who knows what. If I lost or had to sell my land because of a divorce, things would not be pretty. Of course not every marriage ends, but rather be prepared for the worst and pray for the best.
My parents 50th wedding anniversary is this year. Mr.C and I will celebrate our 20th. Both marriages work because the husbands listen to the wives desires and opinions, but the final decisions rest with the husbands. It works for us, and it works well, and if anything should ever happen to Mr.C and I ever remarry, I would want the same arrangement. It took the first 7 years of our marriage, before I figured out that I make a far better Exec than CO, and this marriage wasn't going to survive having two COs.
My mother went back to work full time when I was 9 and my brother 7. I know what it's like to be raised in a home with a mom who works outside the home. I'm staying at home to homeschool our children, a decision Mr.C and I made together and revisit every year. It means I have no retirement savings of my own. I have no career to fall back on. If this house ever has equity, I do have half of it, since it is both our names. But obviously I am risking my financial security in this arrangement, as is Mr.C, since he knows if I ever catch him cheating on me I will take him for everything he has. And if I ever cheat on him, he'll do the same to me. The only reason we wouldn't just shoot the cheater now is that we have children together. That was the agreement when we married.
Men may take a great financial risk in getting married. Some of that depends on the state one lives in. Some can be eliminated with a good pre-nup. But marriage will always involve a certain amount of risk, to both parties. It cannot be entirely eliminated. It can be decreased greatly by taking a great deal of care in choosing your spouse. If you don't date what you wouldn't marry, you are ahead of the game already.
Court decisions regarding child custody and support used to highly favor men. Now the situation is reversed - the pendulum swung too far in the other direction, rather than finding a fair and equitable middle. Society's morals and mores are looser and more lax now, and frankly, why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free? You can blame feminism, or the advent of the Pill and legal abortion, or lack of care for spiritual things, or cycles of history... I'm not sure it matters, as long as enough people care enough to fix it. If you just accept it and adapt to it then you become part of the problem. JMHO, YMMV.
I am separated and will be getting divorced this summer. Everything is taken care of in a property settlement agreement and I talk to her every day about how the kid is doing and we spend time with the kid week/on week off. Think I have the best divorce of anyone I ever met.
That being said, I don't know if I could survive another divorce. I am talking outside of the money and "things." Having the marriage go up in flames was the hardest thing I have had happen in my life, and like most who are in their 40's, I have seen a thing or two. Even when you are not the one who ventures outside the marriage, when you are honest, you can see that no one is completely innocent in the destruction of a marriage. It is a tough, tough business. Never thought I would have to go down that route. Turned my world-view upside down.
If we are talking about treatment he might be correct - relatively speaking. No new slaves were allowed to be imported into the US after 1807. So, it was to the benefit of the slave owner to keep a slave alive because they were not easy to replace and the cost to purchase one increased. Not so in other areas of the world where the importation of slaves was not halted.
Marriage is a religious ceremony, I'm Buddhist and we don't have marriage.
It is also a legal union in the USA. Live together long enough in the USA and you have to consider common law marriage and palimony - depending upon local laws.
And if the split becomes acrimonious enough, I'm sure one or both of you will become carnivores.
I'm looking forward to getting married soon.
Sounds more like alimony. Does she spend the money on your kids, or do you end up buying them shoes/clothes/ other necessities when they are with you?
I have a couple friends doing this now (paying CS that ends up being misspent).
Amen. It is very easy to take on a superiority complex in marriage and it is a FAIL. Everyone contributes to their divorce.
If you want children, adopt. There are a lot of orphans that need homes.
And if we don't want to adopt?