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Why men are happier

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by seb, Jul 27, 2004.

  1. seb

    seb

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    What do you expect from such simple creatures!?
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can be president.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just
    too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood, ALL the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
    minutes
     
  2. StoneGiant

    StoneGiant

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    ^6

    Going to send this to my wife. If I'm not heard from within 72 hours, please notify the local police department (Londonderry, NH).
     

  3. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    Shows what you know. I always spend a full hour Christmas shopping.
     
  4. seb

    seb

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    Yeah right and you spend 8.95 on 3 pairs of underwear to right???
     
  5. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    No, the eight ninety five I spend on sneakers. For the underwear I've discovered DOLLAR GENERAL stores. Buck fifty for a three pack of underwear. I would never think of Chocolate as a snack; sometimes the main course, but never just a snack.

    Shows how much you know about me. I never advertise my acts of thoughtfulness on more than a small, tastefully done poster.
     
  6. BLAZE

    BLAZE

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    but there not all the same.I say about a good 10%are different.Its just hard find the good ones.:)

    Bill you are the man.:)
     
  7. joegerardi

    joegerardi Lifetime Member Millennium Member

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    With the exception of the clothes (I'm a bit of a clothes horse) and the fact that I'm in great shape and my belly doesn't hang anywhere, that is SO me...

    ..Joe
     
  8. seb

    seb

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  9. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    Would that be a light, or a dark chocolate? I've never considered the whole gopher. We used to quick fry the smaller organs, and dip them in chocolate, kind of like chocolate covered ants.
     
  10. seb

    seb

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    Just for the record, I could wear a white t-shirt to a waterpark if I wanted to. ;j
     
  11. seb

    seb

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    With chocolate gopher you drizzle the chocolate over it, just like one of them fancy deserts that you probably had on your cookin show, before you got fired.
     
  12. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    You bring up a sore subject. Another reason I lost my cooking show was the chocolate never actually made it to the dishes I was preparing. It surprised me, too. I didn't know you could 'taste' an entire jar of melted chocolate.

    It is true you could wear that T-shirt if you wanted to. I have heard, however, that if enough male eyes concentrate on one area long enough, it can cause any fabric in that area to combust.
     
  13. BLAZE

    BLAZE

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    ;z ;z lol I love your sence of humor:) ;f
     
  14. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    We can but try.

    That list says that men are happier because ignorance is bliss, and men don't have a clue.
     
  15. seb

    seb

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    I never thought of it quite like that, but OK.Sounds good to me.
     
  16. BLAZE

    BLAZE

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    Bill you have all the clues.:)You are one of a kind:)
     
  17. Bill Powell

    Bill Powell Cross Member CLM

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    I read somewhere the other day that when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you want to is to stop shoveling. I'm gonna stop shoveling now.