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Why I fired my secretary

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Gunrnr, Mar 22, 2003.

  1. Gunrnr

    Gunrnr Senior Goofoff Millennium Member

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    Joined:
    Oct 31, 1999
    Location:
    Land of Enchantment
    Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went down to breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me. But she didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone "Happy Birthday."

    I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember."

    The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

    When I started off to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked in the door, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better -- someone had remembered.

    About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

    I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

    So off we went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had a couple of martinis and enjoyed ourselves tremendously.

    On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

    I said, "No, I guess not."

    She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

    I nodded and smiled. After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and then she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'd like to slip into something more comfortable."

    "Sure," I excitedly replied.

    She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of my closest friends. All were singing Happy Birthday.

    And there I sat on the couch with nothing on but my socks.

    And that is why I fired my secretary.