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Why Dogs are Better than Wives

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by rlfjr, Nov 17, 2002.

  1. rlfjr

    rlfjr NRA Life Member

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    Jan 21, 2002
    Location:
    Connecticut
    1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see
    you.
    2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
    3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
    4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's
    name.
    5. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
    6. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
    7. A dog's parents never visit.
    8. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
    9. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get
    your point across.
    10. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than
    in your wallet or desk.
    11. Dogs seldom outlive you.
    12. Dogs can't talk your ear off.
    13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.
    14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to
    go 24-hours a day.
    15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
    16. Dogs like to go hunting.
    17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
    18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily
    play with both of you.
    19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died
    would you get another dog?"
    20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your
    hotel room for free.
    21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper
    and give them away.
    22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without
    calling you a pervert.
    23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.
    24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get
    mad, they just think it's interesting.
    25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the
    heater.
    26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
    27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to
    sleep.
    28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
    29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdales or Neiman-
    Marcus.
    30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff.