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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by PowerTool, Oct 15, 2002.

  1. PowerTool

    PowerTool

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    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    GEORGE W. BUSH
    I don't think I should have to answer that question.


    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
    chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two
    different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed
    to bring greater services to the American people.


    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
    polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
    the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
    crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
    was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
    someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
    with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more
    of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for
    by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
    your money, money the government took from you to build roads for
    chickens to cross.

    MARTHA STEWART
    No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.

    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
    see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
    the "other side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my
    friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
    become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
    abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
    harmless phrases like "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
    But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
    without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
    enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
    the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how
    it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
    life-long dream of crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


    KARL MARX
    It was a historical inevitability.


    SADDAM HUSSEIN
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
    justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    VOLTAIRE
    I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
    the death its right to do it.


    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
    chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
    the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable
    part of eChicken.


    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
    the chicken?


    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
    chicken? Could you define chicken please?


    THE BIBLE
    And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
    "Thou shalt cross the road."
    And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


    COLONEL SANDERS
    I missed one?
     
  2. Tristan

    Tristan Awwwww.........

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    Thanks fot the laugh. There were some new ones on there I hadn't seen before. ;f
     

  3. fnfalman

    fnfalman Chicks Dig It

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    Descartes:

    The chicken crosses the road therefore it is. Cross the road, ergo sum.

    JFK:

    Ask not what the chicken can do for the road, but ask what the road can do for the chicken.

    Cyrano de Bergerac:

    What? You think my beak is too large? Of all the things you can say, you say that my beak is too large? What is this "road" you speak of? I will cross it!

    Nietzche:

    If crossing the road doesn't kill the chicken, then it will make the chicken stronger than before.

    Shakespeare:

    Lay on, McNuggets!
     
  4. BigDeeeeeeee

    BigDeeeeeeee Reluctantly Deplorable!

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    Just don't ask why the pervert crossed the road.;P
     
  5. Jene

    Jene Millennium Member

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    Why'd the chicken cross the road....... to prove to the 'possum it could be done !!!
     
  6. BigDeeeeeeee

    BigDeeeeeeee Reluctantly Deplorable!

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    Johnie Cochran: The chicken never crossed the road and you are a chicken hater.
     
  7. Guest

    I thought he was just trying to get away from my Glock...:)
     
  8. Johnnyvegas

    Johnnyvegas

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    ;) Why did the chicken cross the road..................?



    For a fowl reason