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Why so serious?
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Well....... true story last week that we got called out THREE separate days for........

RP states that there is a duck standing on the sidewalk near the roadway. RP is afraid that the duck will walk into the road and be struck by a vehicle.

HOW MANY OF US would like to get on the radio and clear it by saying......”duck advised he is trying to catch up to the chicken”


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I got a call at 2 am one morning. Complainant said sasquatch was peeing on her 2nd story window. My first thought was if he is that tall i don't want to find him
 

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Dispatched to a loud verbal domestic outside reporting party's house. Upgraded to banging noises.


Two raccoons fighting over a dirty diaper on RPs trash can.

Anyone with more than a month on the road has many similar stories.
 

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Got a call of a turtle crossing our main north/south road. Went to scene of the “crime.” Yup, big lady snapping turtle (I knew it was a lady turtle as I peeked between it’s little legs….) trying to get across the road. Managed to get her to the nearest side of the road that I could. Left the scene.

Five minutes later, got a call of a turtle crossing our main north/south road. Same place. Got there. Same turtle. When a lady snapping turtle wants to lay her eggs, they are very single-minded.

This time one of my officers and I directed traffic around the lady turtle until she got to the side of the road she wanted to get to.

Went on the air and told my dispatcher that the situation was in hand, and the turtle was “warned and admonished.” Probably only the cops who were in the NYPD will get the full humor of that remark.
 
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Had a loose dog call. Found an open front door. Large dog inside wouldn’t let us in to clear the house. Obvious burglary.

Dispatch calls the home owner. He is at work... at the fire station down the road. Said he will respond with his unit in the fire rig.

I got to finally clear on the radio that would we be staging for FIRE instead of fire staging for us for once. Had to wait for him to secure the dog so we could make sure there wasn’t a scared teenager stuck hiding in a closet from that dog.
 

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A few weeks ago I got a call in one of our touristy areas. The complainant stated there was a 3 foot gator next to a pond adjacent to the hotel they were staying at. They didn't know if that was normal and wanted someone to check it out. Wanted to know if it's normal, for a gator to be next to a body of water, IN FLORIDA.
Had a woman call in about a pack of dogs attacking a 6 year old child in the wash behind her house. She was from some big city and had never heard a rabbit scream when the coyotes got it. She wouldn’t take our word for it and insisted on dragging us down in the wash to find the dismembered 6 year old that she knew was there.
 

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I hear calls by parents complaining to 911 (my daughter is an operator) that their adolescent child won't obey them. Children as young as 9 years old.

I bet there isn't one cop that wants to be the "boogey man" to a child!
 
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