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when the fight started

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    > One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
    > a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
    >
    > When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
    > gift I bought you last year!"
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    > ************************************************************************
    > My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the tv?"
    >
    > I replied "Dust".
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    > ************************************************************************
    > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    > She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
    > horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
    > compliment.'
    >
    > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    > ************************************************************************
    > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    > She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
    > seconds.
    > I bought her a scale.
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    > ************************************************************************
    > I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
    >
    > It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
    >
    > 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
    > So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
    > And that's when the fight started....
    > ************************************************************************
    > My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
    > in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
    > 'No,' she answered.
    >
    > I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
    > She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
    > So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
    > And that's when the fight started....
    > ************************************************************************
    > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
    > Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
    > would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
    > And that's when the fight started.....
    > ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
    > first.
    >
    > 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
    > He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
    > 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
    > And that's when the fight started.....