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What's the weirdest thing a boss has asked you to do?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Glock&KimberLady, Sep 12, 2017.

  1. Glock&KimberLady

    Glock&KimberLady Morior Invictus Silver Member

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    I've had a couple of weird/crazy bosses, and beyond the "buy my wife something for our anniversary, here's the AmEx", the most obnoxious one was this:

    It was a secretarial job for a very, very tiny vitamin company. The boss was such an obnoxious weenus that during my interview, he gave himself a nosebleed getting worked up about how the items on his desk blotter were to be arranged for him each day.

    PENCIL HERE
    PEN HERE
    BLOTTER LINED UP EVENLY
    *nose begins to drip blood as eyes bulge and blood pressure gets high*

    (Cocaine? Who knows. Probably.)

    I took the job with misgivings but it paid well for the time. Found out a week later that they'd gone through eleven secretaries in the past year.

    So bossman and his doctor buddy go skiing in Colorado somewhere. They have a rental car, like you do when you go out of state. Turns out, they both got drunk one night, and the doctor buddy (who was not on the car rental policy), ends up somehow scraping the vehicle from nose to tail on a parking structure pillar.

    I'm instructed to call the car rental company and tell them that the valet parking kid did it. "Do whatever you have to do to convince them. The car was all messed up when we got it."

    Me: But...didn't Dr. XYZ do it? You told me Dr. XYZ was "a little loaded" and that he's the one who sideswiped...

    Him: YEAH SO WHAT, I'M NOT GONNA PAY FOR DAMAGES ON A MERCEDES, DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THAT WOULD BE AND MY INSURANCE WON'T COVER IT SINCE HE WAS DRIVING, SO JUST DO IT

    So I called the rental company, told them exactly what happened (drunk Dr. XYZ and all, and the attempt to shift blame to the valet kid), then went back in and told my boss that despite my best efforts, the rental company was intransigent about it and that they said they had "video" so shut up.

    I ended up quitting a few weeks later because the guy was absolutely insane. The office staff tried offering me a couple bucks more an hour (big tunes when you're making $13/hr back in the 90s) and I was like, nerp, gotta go, enjoy your cray.

    So what's the weirdest, most obnoxious, or illegal thing your boss has ever demanded you do?
     
  2. G30SF/F-250

    G30SF/F-250 Pinky Out Platinum Member

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    It takes a lot for me to consider something weird.....
     
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  3. G30SF/F-250

    G30SF/F-250 Pinky Out Platinum Member

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    Oh, once in the middle of the office and not quietly the owner of the company asked me to get him a bag of weed.

    Odd but I wouldn't say weird.
     
  4. Glock&KimberLady

    Glock&KimberLady Morior Invictus Silver Member

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    Did you pull 10% as a finder's fee?

    "It came all snipped up like that, I dunno..." :rofl:
     
  5. G30SF/F-250

    G30SF/F-250 Pinky Out Platinum Member

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    I told him it was for taxes. :supergrin:
     
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  6. SC Tiger

    SC Tiger Jive Tiger

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    Not me, but had one that supposedly "asked" employees to come work on his house on weekends. Paid them minimum wage.

    Same guy would supposedly turn around on the interstate if he saw a board with a label from a store on it, so he could get it and return it to the store for a refund.

    And this guy was a Senior Vice President.
     
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  7. KingWalleye

    KingWalleye

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    To shoot a Raccoon that was hunkered down by our loading dock having been hit by a car. It's hips were twisted horribly.
    I lived three minutes away so I ran home and got my .22 rifle.
    Click-bang-shovel clang and it was done.

    I had my yearly review that afternoon and got a nice pay bump.
     
  8. FEDLEO

    FEDLEO I'm the rootenist tootenist shootenist

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    About 20 years ago while I was still working for the state I had a female supervisor. She asked me if I would strip for her daughters 18th birthday party.
     
  9. Sniffler

    Sniffler Unruly Silver Member

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    When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. Hunter S. Thompson :freak:


    Didja?
     
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  10. Glock&KimberLady

    Glock&KimberLady Morior Invictus Silver Member

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    WE GOTTA BE ALL LEGAL NOW AND STUFF
     
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  11. Geko45

    Geko45 Smartass Pilot CLM

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    Once had an employer ask me to alter database records so they could defraud Medicare. They didn't frame it like that of course. They were hoping I wouldn't figure out their angle. If you didn't know the medicare rules well enough the request would have sounded benign and reasonable. I made up a technical BS answer as to why it couldn't be done and resigned shortly thereafter. Wanted to report it, but there wasn't any real evidence of intent to defraud.

    Interviewed at a software company once for an engineering slot. It was an all day interview with about a dozen different people over the course of the day. They all asked me riddles instead of traditional questions. Didn't want to know about my experience or background, just endless riddles.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
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  12. ede

    ede Bama's Friend

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    I've had 30 maybe 40 employers and I've got nothing. Best I have is finding some forged inspection documents from a subcontractor. I don't know but suspect the employers was in on it since the guy who forged the reports is still employed by the sub even though it cost them thousands of dollars to redo the work, contract pulled, and banned from future work on site.
     
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  13. snappy

    snappy

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    Can you get me one? How much $$?
     
  14. dudel

    dudel

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    Company president had me recover his porn from his computer (accidentally deleted). Turns out to have been pics of him and two hookers.

    I could have gone very far in that company.
     
  15. tsmo1066

    tsmo1066 Happy Smiley

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    As a Derivatives Risk Manager I once had a trader ask me to "adjust" the internal pricing I was reporting on some of his long term commodity trades to show him being several hundred thousand dollars in the money, as opposed to the reality which was that he was either flat or losing money on those trades.

    When I pointed out to him that I could go to prison for that, not to mention lose my career, he offered to pay for my wife and I to go out to dinner as compensation. :crazy:
     
  16. rolltide_pisco

    rolltide_pisco NRA Patron Life Member

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    I've actually walked in on a boss snorting cocaine on his desk. I've made a drug run for a boss before. I've been to strip club with my managers.
     
  17. G30SF/F-250

    G30SF/F-250 Pinky Out Platinum Member

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    :thumbsup:
    :whistling:
     
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  18. AZ_Wildcat

    AZ_Wildcat

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    I guess I have been lucky. For the last 27 years of my career, I was an officer so there was very little in the way of strange requests from the bosses...at least not what one would describe as strange within the context of how strange as the job could be anyway.

    But before that, while I was in college, I worked in a small family owned Italian restaurant near the UofA campus in Tucson. I tended the small bar and waited tables. The family was total, old school, first generation immigrant Italian. I was the only non-Italian that worked there, but I got a pass because they assumed since I was Irish that I was a catholic too so I was "in the club".

    After about a year, I was starting to be invited to a lot of the family functions if I wasn't going home to Prescott, AZ for weekends and breaks or whatever. It really was a great job, great family to work for...I actually made more money working for them than I did my first two years as a cop.

    Anyway...I was at the home of the oldest son who was the same age as my dad and the family was killing bottle after bottle of red wine and he (the oldest son) asked me to "give his wife a baby".

    "Huh?" I asked.

    "I need you to give my wife a baby".

    Yeah. Strange.

    His first wife had passed a couple of years before and he imported a newer model unit from the old county and wasn't successful in getting her pregnant, so he asked me to pinch hit for him.

    Before anyone asks...NO...I didn't step up to the plate. I told him no, and things were a little strange for a few weeks after that at work, but eventually he found a designated hitter and she got pregnant and he stopped asking me to reconsider.

    That was by far the strangest thing I ever had a boss ask me to do.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2017
  19. Captain Steinbrenner

    Captain Steinbrenner

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    Boss asked us to give a scumbag client that wanted to stiff us on a roofing job some motivation for payment..as soon he saw us getting on the roof ready to tear it down he produced the money.
    Still, accidentally, threw two handfuls of drywall screws under his tires..


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  20. Glock&KimberLady

    Glock&KimberLady Morior Invictus Silver Member

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    Oh, man, some of these are gooood. Some of these are AWFUL.

    Keep 'em coming!
     
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