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what you won't read in a Hallmark card

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by nipperwolf, Jul 13, 2003.

  1. nipperwolf

    nipperwolf

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2002
    WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT, BUT YOU WISHED THEY DID



    So your daughter's a hooker,

    and it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    It's really good pay.



    Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.




    Looking back over the years that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder - What the hell was I thinking?





    Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.





    How could two people as beautiful as you...

    Have such an ugly baby?

    Congratulations Anyway!





    I've always wanted to have someone to hold,

    Someone to love.

    After having met you ...

    I've changed my mind.






    I must admit,

    You brought Religion into my life.

    I never believed in Hell...

    Till I met you.






    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.







    Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go ...

    Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

    You'll probably need it again.







    Someday I hope to get married.

    But not to you.







    Happy birthday!

    You look great for your age...

    Almost lifelike!







    When we were together,

    You always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.






    I am so glad that we are such good friends...

    Relatives always expect money in their card.





    I'm so miserable without you ...

    It's almost like you're here.






    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

    Did you ever find out who the father was?






    Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep.




    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Arkansas, Georgia, and parts of South Carolina!)
     
  2. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    Damn I wish someone did make some of them cards. Could use a couple of them.;f