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What would you do if you found out your son/daughter was homosexual?

Discussion in 'The Okie Corral' started by Andy W, Jan 10, 2010.

  1. Andy W

    Andy W

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    A conversation I had with one of my friends got me thinking about this. First of all, let me make it clear that I have do not have any kids. However, I might someday. I'm just not sure what exactly my reaction would be. I know that I wouldn't be happy about it but at the same time I would like to think that I would still love and support them as my child.

    What would you do?
     
  2. DustyJacket

    DustyJacket Directiv 10-289

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  3. JimBianchi

    JimBianchi Da Da CLM

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    If the kid was still young, under teenage or tween, I would make sure it was not some kind of peer-pressure faze or experiment, I would explain the realities of life as a gay person as I know it (I've known and worked with many gay men and women) and I would have someone far more qualified talk to them also.

    If they were older, teen/late teen or an adult, I'd be initially unhappy but I'd still have them talk to a professional and then I'd leave it be.

    From talking a few gay friends who were in the service with me, I know how hard it was for them to come out to their folks and be rejected for who they are. I also know that me wanting it to be or me ignoring it will not make it go away, in fact it will probably make it worse.

    I'd have to learn to live with it and love them for who they are, not who I want them to be.
     
  4. cabindriver

    cabindriver NRA Life Member

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    Thank you for a well thought out answer.
     
  5. THEPOPE

    THEPOPE Nibb

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    I have lived this, for real, my son at 29 years of age decided to "come out" to me, about 2 years ago....yikes.

    Now, as an aside, I have no real problem with gays as such, and I've known some interesting and intelligent people that are gay, very like-able and creative folks, just like any other nice people I know. ( I am turned away by the "extra-flamboyant" types that seem to put on and wear their gay attitudes in an over the top manner, however)

    Some other family members knew of his orientation, not me.

    He has no out-ward ( that I could tell) clues or mannerisms that would have given him away, and I really had no reason to think for a moment that he was gay.

    I will be as honest as I can about it here....I was devastated, initially, as I had always thought he would settle, find the love of his life ( female), and have a grand-child or two to be spoiled rotten by me, of course, and carry on the family name.

    AFTER I got my wits back, a few days later, and quite a bit of internal dialogue, I discovered that the news didn't change my love for my child, and that perhaps I could learn to live with the fact.

    I still have some problems MYSELF about the issue, but I am slowly getting used to the fact.

    That is MY problem, not his, as he appears to be comfortable being who he is and confident about how his life-style is looked at by society.

    Any way, that is my story of HIS story.........I am Out ...:cool:
     
  6. Brucev

    Brucev

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    Last edited: May 7, 2010
  7. hagar

    hagar Millennium Member

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    I don't have any kids, because I knew they would disappoint me..:supergrin:

    But if I did, and if it was my daughter, I would try and be supportive. If it was my son, he would be out of my life for good.
     
  8. Natty

    Natty

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    Get them into Hollywood/show business. They would fit right in, be embraced, and maybe end up very successful.

    :whistling:
     
  9. MattHappyTrails

    MattHappyTrails

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    I would be disturbed by it. I'd be more upset that he was one of the ten percent of all mammals that are gay. He could choose his lifestyle but not stop being gay internally. I could never reject a child of mine.
     
  10. feelinlucky?

    feelinlucky?

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    Wow! What an interesting mix of responses.
    Some open minded, intelligent and sensitive...
    and then the others.
     
  11. Andy W

    Andy W

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    I cannot equate homosexuality with bestiality, pedophilia, and other such things. I am not gay so I cannot speak for personal experience, but I have heard that gay people can love each other and engage in long term committed relationships. Another difference is that in sexual perversions such as pedophilia and bestiality, especially the former, there is a victim involved. In a homosexual relationship, both people involved are going are normally consenting adults; no victim is involved.
     
  12. Andy W

    Andy W

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    Another thought. I think I could accept the fact that my son was gay; that's one thing. However, the thing that would be really hard is if he wanted to bring his partner home with him for Thanksgiving or something. I'm not sure I could accept that.
     
  13. Brucev

    Brucev

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    Last edited: May 7, 2010
  14. katana8869

    katana8869 NativeFloridian

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    *****
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2010
  15. RDW

    RDW BTDT

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    Thank God I don't have to deal with that.
     
  16. bsg1

    bsg1

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    like you, i would hope i could be supportive to any of my children regarding lifestyle choices, sexual orientation; ultimately, to be supportive to who they are as human beings....
     
  17. Garrett Smith

    Garrett Smith

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    You're probably a strongly religious person too.....
     
  18. RyanSBHF

    RyanSBHF Senior Member

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    Don't try to paint all religious people as bigots.

    Paragraph 2358 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
    "[Those with homosexual inclinations] must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition."

    The 1986 document, "Letter to the Bishops of The Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons.": "It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action. Such treatment deserves condemnation from the Church's pastors wherever it occurs. It reveals a kind of disregard for others which endangers the most fundamental principles of a healthy society. The intrinsic dignity of each person must always be respected in word, in action and in law."
     
  19. Garrett Smith

    Garrett Smith

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    "Don't try to paint all religious people as bigots."

    They obviously don't need my help.
     
  20. Oak Hill Glock

    Oak Hill Glock

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    For me, the question was simple. Do I love my daughter or not? I don't believe she, or the majority of gays/lesbians, choose their orientation. If you disagree, please tell us about that point in your life when you pondered the possibilities and decided you would be heterosexual.



    . . . I didn't experience that kind of choice dilemma either.