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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
The "she left..." thread got me wondering, what kind of red flags have you come to know based on experience.

I ask because the above thread had many people posting that they would not date someone who was a momma's boy/daddy's girl, always running home at the first sign of trouble in the relationship, someone who couldn't committ to their partner because they had one foot in their parents house.

That was so dead on, it made me wonder what other red flags some of you have come to recognize from experience.


I know I won't date anyone that was spoon fed their entire life living with their parents for example, they will likely be a leech.
 

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Nothing wrong with dating but no serious relationships with bartenders/cocktail waitresses etc.
 

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People who don't share similar values. They do not have to be clones of my views, but we have to have some common ground.
 

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no extreme animal lovers.

if she's mental enough to refer to her pets as "children" or "little people", or carries pictures of her pets in her wallet or on her keychain, i'm out.
 

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Never date a girl you meet at a club, bar, or anything like.

Girls aren't that different from guys. You go out to find someone to hook up with. It works both ways.

Never date a girl whose childs father has custody. She is a nut case.

Never date a girl with a tramp stamp. She was not only stamped, but she took the liberty of doing it for you.

She has to be 18. I've carded two in my life. They looked to be on the very fine line.

It goes on and on and on and on.

But, if you are actually dating someone.. if there is something(s) you want to change, then bail. Life isn't about changing people, it's about finding someone who doesn't need it.
 

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A red flag for me is any girl with an attitude characterized by, or who actually repeats, sentiments such as "I am who I am and I won't change for anyone, if you don't like it then tough," or "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best," or "What I really want is someone who loves me for who I am." In a sense there's not necessarily anything wrong with these but what it signals to me is that in the past she has found people wanting her to change, that people have been unable to 'handle her' and that nobody will love her for 'who she is', and that suggests that she's just plain bad relationship material. I don't think most people feel the need to say these things because most people are nice enough that nobody tries to change them, nobody is unable to 'handle' them, and they don't find it impossible to find someone who loves them 'for who they are'.

I'm all for being yourself but I also think those kinds of attitudes are quite juvenile; of course you should be yourself but I also think any mature person understands that you have to mesh and ultimately compromise with a person for a relationship to work long term, you can't continue to leave your filthy laundry strewn all over the place just because 'that's who I am'. There are things you can't (and shouldn't) compromise over but that really doesn't need to be pointed out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
A red flag for me is any girl with an attitude characterized by, or who actually repeats, sentiments such as "I am who I am and I won't change for anyone, if you don't like it then tough," or "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best," or "What I really want is someone who loves me for who I am." In a sense there's not necessarily anything wrong with these but what it signals to me is that in the past she has found people wanting her to change, that people have been unable to 'handle her' and that nobody will love her for 'who she is', and that suggests that she's just plain bad relationship material. I don't think most people feel the need to say these things because most people are nice enough that nobody tries to change them, nobody is unable to 'handle' them, and they don't find it impossible to find someone who loves them 'for who they are'.

I'm all for being yourself but I also think those kinds of attitudes are quite juvenile; of course you should be yourself but I also think any mature person understands that you have to mesh and ultimately compromise with a person for a relationship to work long term, you can't continue to leave your filthy laundry strewn all over the place just because 'that's who I am'. There are things you can't (and shouldn't) compromise over but that really doesn't need to be pointed out.
Makes sense, solid advice if you ask me.
 

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I won't date anyone hairier than I am. Other then that, pretty much good to go.
 

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No truck nutz or "show me your hooters" bumperstickers.
 

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Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner
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Avoid people trying to buy a Colt for $ 00.00
 

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People who don't share similar values. They do not have to be clones of my views, but we have to have some common ground.
Yep.

There are many significant differences between my wife and me but we share core values. Because we share core values, we don't allow the differences to get in the way.

It's worked for 23 years.
 

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Makes sense, solid advice if you ask me.
TRUE THAT.

Facebook status:

Don't be a woman who needs a man... Be the woman a man needs... Because every woman is worth fighting for... But not every man is worth you..
I see these all the time. Needless to say she has over 2,000 pictures of herself on it, and has never been in a relationship longer than a few weeks...she's also almost 30 and still lives with her parents.

Yup. Keep being picky, idiot.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
TRUE THAT.

Facebook status:



I see these all the time. Needless to say she has over 2,000 pictures of herself on it, and has never been in a relationship longer than a few weeks...she's also almost 30 and still lives with her parents.

Yup. Keep being picky, idiot.
It may not be her being picky that's the problem. Perhaps no man wants to date her. 2K pics? I would pass. That's a clear sign of problems.
 

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Anyone with a mental illness(Esp bipolar/schizophrenia), anyone who is overly reliant on her parents, anyone who has EVER cheated, anyone who refuses to modify their behavior for anyone or anything(sign of disrespect for you and your needs/desires), liars, anyone obsessed with money/lack thereof, and anyone with a mental illness (This one bears repeating). The mother of my children was all of these....I love my children, but she is the worst thing that ever happened to me....
 

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no extreme animal lovers.

if she's mental enough to refer to her pets as "children" or "little people", or carries pictures of her pets in her wallet or on her keychain, i'm out.
Hahahaha...Dayton TX. I have lived there for some bit. Awesome...
 
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