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What Haunts You?

  1. I woke up this morning to a crisp morning air. I was immediately transported back to a time when I was dating the "love of my life". I knew it at the time and still managed to screw it up. I remember this because the morning we broke up, it was just like this morning. Though I've moved on and I'm dating someone else, been married and divorced, my mind this morning can't stop thinking about her.. The hairs on my neck stood straight up when I walked outside and I saw the morning dew, and felt the cooler air on my face. I have been off-center all morning as a result. In the grand scope of things, I know it's trivial. For me, the aftermath was probably one of the darkest moments of my life. I've lived a sheltered and peaceful life and have not had much drama over-all so I guess that could be considered a blessing.

    I know many here have lost loved ones through the years, or have had other tragic episodes happen to them. Please share what haunts you, and if not too personal, what reminds you of that incident as the years have pressed on.
  2. The fear of wrinkles. I don't have any yet, but I know they are out there waiting to pounce.
  3. They may signal the end of a modeling career, but they certainly don't define a person. And true beauty can carry a few light wrinkles with no harm done.
  4. Not much.

    Can honestly say I have very few regrets and if today is my last, so be it, I've done my best with what I had at the time.
  5. I carry some images and even smells from my time in law enforcement. There would be no point in recounting them here but they are permanently fixed in my psyche. I'd guess most first responders have similar experiences they cannot shake loose from.
  6. I had to put my dog down a few months ago. On the way to the vet, knowing it was the last time I would spend time with him, he shook almost uncontrollably. It's like he knew. We had no choice but to put him to sleep but I'm haunted by the look in his eyes to this day. I don't think I'll ever forget it. It hurts because he trusted me ...
  7. Hillary Michelle Kamala, that haunts me.
  8. He trusted you to not make him suffer. Maybe the shaking was uncontrolled spasms resulting from what ever caused you to have him euthanized. Maybe it was a sign that you were not acting too soon.
  9. The only thing that haunts me is that person who lives in the mirror. He looks nothing like me. Perhaps he lives in cameras too.
  10. Racer beat me to it. He trusted you to do the right thing and spare him ongoing pain. Let it go, don't beat yourself up. You DID THE RIGHT THING.

    BTDT, I know it is painful.

    Take care.
  11. Very well expressed. Yes, similar experiences that I haven’t shaken off.
  12. what haunts me? This.

  13. Wrinkles can be cute ya' know...
  14. Everytime I go out for I run I wish I'd taken better care of myself when I was younger.
  15. I wonder all the time how I got into my job field. Sure didn't plan it but it's too late to think I'm going to change. I think often about all the time I'm not able to be with family.
  16. I have my demons, which aren’t uncommon and to many people they would even seem trivial, but I’m too ashamed to even mention them. I’ll live my life trying to unring those bells.

    Interesting question, Kawabuggy. Thoughts of my mother and grandparents, who are now gone, come up often, triggered by the smallest detail.
  17. Not buying into bitcoin in 2010. If I'd put a few hundred bucks in back then, I'd be set for life and then some.
  19. AF36F3A0-CFBE-46A7-8378-62BAF26EA732.jpeg
  20. I got myself fired from a job a few years ago. Had to go home to my wife and 6 month old baby and tell them I messed up. I think about it every day almost.
  21. Yup, 30 years worth.
  22. Being homeless
  23. Most people have things that haunt them. Some more, some less. And just like you, certain smells, sights, sounds, etc., can bring awful memories rushing back.

    I have figured out that discussing such things, dredging up the past, mentally and emotionally focusing on them, is a complete and utter waste of time, effort, energy and positivity. While you can't deny the occasional remembrance, continuing to be focused on such things is purely negative.

    Go shooting. Go to the gym. Do something to forget about the crap from the past.
  24. Thank you. I've never doubted that we did the right thing. But, man, it really haunts me to this day. He was so innocent and sweet and it just wasn't fair.
    But, as we all know, life ain't fair. And so it goes.
    But I appreciate the thoughts and I know many of us have been through it. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done.
  25. Haunt? Nothing.

    Regret. Buying the home we live in.

    Wonder. Well this is a bit different than the previous two. What if I would have taken that first job out of college rather than listening to my wife and passing. Career wise it would have set me on a completely different path and back then (1992) good jobs were hard to find.

    Nothng I can do to change it. I stay in the home we are in as I'm a believer in Devil that you Know.
  26. That's downright frightening!
  27. Your dogs will be in Heaven too. Biblical references:

    Animals and Men/Women are both Living Creatures/Souls:

    Genesis 1:21 And God created great whales, and every *** living creature *** that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

    The Hebrew words used here are: (chay) 'alive'(H2416a) and (ne.phesh) 'soul' (H5315)

    Genesis 2:4 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a *** living soul ***.

    Again the Hebrew words used are: (chay.yim) 'life' (H2416e) and (ne.phesh) 'soul' (H5315)

    Living creatures are eternal beings.

    The difference between animals and humans is that we as humans were made in God's Image and given a Spirit also. We like animals have a Body, and a Soul. Unlike animals we have a Spirit. The Soul is our memories, emotions, and our thoughts. The Spirit is our Will and our non-physical communicative self. We worship God and communicate with him via our Spirit. We can worship God because we have a Spirit. Animals and non-living things can only praise God.

    New Heaven and new Earth have animals living in them:
    Isaiah 65:17-25

    17 For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.
    18 But be ye glad and rejoice for ever in that which I create: for, behold, I create Jerusalem a rejoicing, and her people a joy.
    25 The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock: and dust shall be the serpent's meat. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the LORD.

    And Finally, the Holy God and his Chosen Jesus said, I go to prepare a place for you. God created the Earth in 6 days, Jesus has been working on a place for you for 2000 years. Do you think the Son of God, who loved you so much that he died on a cross for you, wouldn't have your favorite pets waiting to greet you in your new Heavenly home?
  28. Regrets, I've had a few
    But then again, too few to mention
    I did what I had to do
    And saw it through without exemption...

    Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
    When I bit off more than I could chew
    But through it all, when there was doubt
    I ate it up and spit it out
    I faced it all and I stood tall
    And did it my way
  29. Should of banged Marcia in 1976.
    Should have loaded up on JPMorgan in 2009 @ circa $17.00

    Besides that it’s been a great ride.
  30. Stay fit and active. Women are modeling into their 80s and good ones are in demand.
  31. This...
  32. 1992, Had a chance to get a registered, select fire, milled AK for $4000.

    Passed on it.

    Still kicking myself over that one.....

  33. This!
    I have a box of sealed memories (20+years fire/ems) in my brain that does occasionally get opened by some stimulus.They don’t haunt me, but the people who always want to hear about the “bad calls” probably would be.
    I always tell them, you really don’t want to see inside the box.
  34. Being sarcastic to a new Man that ended up dead a day after I spoke sharply to him.
  35. I had sardines and triscuits for lunch and been drinking bad coffee all day. Now wearing this mask it smells like Im huffing powerbait.
  36. Maybe one day I’ll have the strength to tell someone. Today is not that day.
  37. I ghosted a woman after my divorce, thinking I'd be a player....
    She deserved better.
  38. When I retired three years ago , it was an ugly situation at work . There was a full blown witch hunt going on and I was caught up in it . I could have stayed and fought it and slept with one eye open for the rest of my time there but I was tired of the bull**** and there was no light at the end of the tunnel . The bad guys won and that is what haunts me . I believe in Karma and I know they will get what they deserve at some point but I'm impatient . I want to see it and maybe even contribute . I don't regret retiring , but it wasn't done on my terms and I'm pissed about that . It's been three years and I think about it every day .
  39. Sounds like a sci-fi-politico horror movie.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  41. Likewise, I wanna say that looking at my retirement funds, I wish I d not squandered a fortune when going on pleasure voyages in my 20s.

    But that's more a practical concern to me rather than a "haunting"
  42. What haunts me? A few things that I have seen while working as a scrub tech in the OR have always stayed with me. In the last year or so I have started to have some very vivid and realistic dreams, the kind that sometimes even make sense, and you wake up remembering. And some of those have come from my days in the OR. One in particular was enough that it woke me before it was time, and left me unsettled and disturbed, and that was all she wrote for sleeping that night. The memory of that dream stayed with me for a couple of days, but it has receded back into its' hole, and I hope that it stays there.

    Funny thing about those that my memory has decided to hold onto, they aren't of any of the horrific traumas that I have seen, and there were some real doozies in that pile. But each of those events that my memory has held onto, most of them have had a lasting affect on who I am to this day.
  43. Right now having to go clean the litter box
  44. 1) Collecting enough repeat injuries that I will not be able to continue working out and getting fat and sedentiary in my old age
    2) Having to deal with stupid, intolerant people without any common sense
    3) The fact that I never learned Mandarin in case Trump does not win this election (just kidding)
  45. I'm having dreams of my deceased friends and relatives. It's either meds or I'm getting close to being in their part of the dreams. Either way, I'm ok.
  46. I wouldn't say any particular thing haunts me, but of course I regret all the bad and unwise things I've done. I believe through grace and faith I will be forgiven. I've also experienced major hurts from loved ones that resulted in very unhappy days, but dwelling on them just makes today unhappy, too, and they cost enough days in the past. Let it go. No need to give them today, too. I try to focus on the positive and be the best person I can be today. We all have some serious bumps in the road but we are also very blessed in so many ways, many of which we just take for granted without a thought.

    BT, DT too, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I still second-guess myself at times; sometimes thinking I shouldn't have done it then and sometimes thinking I waited too long. Animals are so innocent and vulnerable, many just at our mercy. And too many people are far from merciful to them. I still miss my sweet boy but I believe he is with the Lord and that is my comfort. That is my comfort when a person I love dies, too.

    I'm also thinking his shaking might have been connected to whatever physical condition he had that made it best to have him put to sleep. I'm sure it was heart breaking to you, though. He was blessed to have a caring master.

    I believe they'll be there, too. I'm not certain whether animals will be concerned with us or we with them in heaven, but maybe so. Regardless, we'll all be content for sure. I do believe we and they will be praising Christ. To your excellent references I would add Rev. 5:13.

    Some say "every creature" in that passage only refers to humans, but I don't think so. The Greek "ktisma" is used only one other time in the Bible, in I Tim 4:4, and the context of that passage obviously refers to animals.

    There are other passages that demonstrate the care God has for animals, but that might be straying off-topic for this thread. I might PM you to discuss further.

    And @Hannie: For my age, I guess I don't have very many wrinkles (yet), but I have a few, and that frosted hair I was never brave enough to do is finally frosting itself. :) I predict you'll survive any you get later on just fine and probably put some younger women to shame. In the grand scheme of things, a few wrinkles aren't very important by that age, and there's always cosmetic surgery. No worries!

    Vote Trump/Republican 2020.
  47. Prepare for that day and it won't be as bad as it could be. Have your finances in order. You might not make as much in the future. Invest what you can. Have some training for your planned future career. If you stay in fashion would it be as a photographer, agent, designer or something else? Change is inevitable, how well you deal with it is up to you.
    Young guys go through just about the opposite problem. They are a dime a dozen and pretty much disposable. They may or may not gain status as they get older.
  48. Scary indeed.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  49. Some mean-spirited neighborhood crap i did in grade school. I thought it was funny, it wasnt.
  50. I missed out on a chance to get a sex change. Fullclip and G30SF/F-250 told me I should go ahead with it but I didn't listen. Now, all I can do is dream.

    Since I'm also obsessed with keeping my good looks, I'll pass along a secret.......

    I was reading an interview with an older actress (I forgot who). She said her secret to keeping her looks in later years was keep her face moisturized. Wrinkles are slow to form in such an environment.