West Texas Cowboy

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Nowhere Man, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man

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    May 22, 2003
    North Port, FL
    A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when
    suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
    and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you
    exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you
    give me a calf?"

    The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
    peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?
    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
    it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet,
    where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix
    on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans
    the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens
    the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
    processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an
    email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data
    stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected
    Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few
    minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report
    on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to
    the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."
    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
    cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and
    looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
    Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
    what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
    "You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party" says the
    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
    though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I
    already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything
    about my business........ Now give me back my dog."