had a hard day and once i closed it up for the day i didn't feel like cooking so i stopped by the diner in town for dinner and to see if my favorite little waitress was there. she was there picking up her last check so i convinced her to hang out while i ate and to talk. i finished eating and we were hanging out having a good time, probably a good 3 hours. at some point when the waitress came by i started ordering beer instead of soda, and so did the waitress. there at the end i got brave and asked her if she wanted to get out of the joint and she said sure so i offered my place and she agreed. next thing i know we're sitting in my truck and i'm putting the keys in the ignition as if everything is normal. every alarm bell in my body went haywire. at first i thought something was wrong with her. then it hit me, after a strong 25 year drinking career i'd finally slipped and was about to drive drunk. i've always prided myself on the fact that my drinking has never cost me a job, a relationship, friend ship, or any sort of truly important event, and most importantly i'd never even been tempted to so much as drive to the corner store a block away no matter how drunk i was. i explained to her that the night was over, and exactly why. i then walked back in and gave my keys to the diner owner and explained that i would be back for them tomorrow and why. i called a friend to come get me and drive me to the house at which point i poured out every last drop of liquor and beer i had in the house and on property. it finally happened. alcohol got the better of me and i will not stand for that **** so i am done. cold turkey. the next few days/weeks/months/years are going to be rough i'm sure so i want to apologize now for my behavior in the coming future. bare with me if you can, ignore me if you must.