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Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, Feb 12, 2005.

  1. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

    Messages:
    71,013
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    102,172
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2000
    Location:
    Colluder in Cahoots
    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
    you which number to press.

    If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press--no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or, after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk with you.
     
  2. Rick O'Shay

    Rick O'Shay

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    Jan 24, 2005
    Location:
    SC
    Well thought out, by a SICKO! :)
     

  3. allhowl

    allhowl

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    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2001
    Location:
    NE Okla.
    Please post the phone number so I can get some much needed help ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b ;b
     
  4. lomfs24

    lomfs24

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    Location:
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