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Weird headlines

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by -, Nov 22, 2002.

  1. Guest

    Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash Expert Says

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

    Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

    Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

    Eye Drops Off Shelf

    Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

    Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

    Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

    Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

    Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

    Deer Kill 17,000

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

    Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

    Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

    Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

    New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

    Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

    Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

    British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

    Stolen Painting Found by Tree

    War Dims Hope for Peace

    Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
     
  2. pfrigm

    pfrigm

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2001
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    I just love these every time I see them. My favorite (which doesn't appear on your list) is POLICE HELP DOG BITE VICTIM.

    There is a man by the name of Richard Lederer who wrote a couple of Books called "Anguished English". The content of the books is a collection of "butcherisms" and other assorted English language goofs. Headlines have an entire section, but my favorite is the one about World History with each sentence taken from essays written by school children. My favorite sentence from this has to be "Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper." I highly recommend it for a laugh or three.
     

  3. DScottHewitt

    DScottHewitt EMT-B

    Messages:
    15,908
    Likes Received:
    7
    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2000
    Location:
    Waynesboro, VA
    I just got this one:

    BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS


    Scott

    ;b