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We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by lethal tupperwa, Mar 13, 2003.

  1. lethal tupperwa

    lethal tupperwa

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    Subject: Fwd: Fw: Mens rules



    Note: they are numbered 1 on purpose







    # 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

    down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about

    you leaving it down.



    # 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.



    # 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

    Let it be.



    # 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that

    way.



    # 1. Crying is blackmail.



    # 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not

    work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We'll

    get it for you, but just LET US KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!!!



    # 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the

    calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.



    # 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any

    good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?



    # 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    Please pick one.



    # 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what

    we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



    # 1. A headache that lasts for seventeen months is a problem. See a doctor.



    # 1. Let us know about that funny noise in your car engine as soon as you

    hear it.



    # 1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact

    all comments become null and void after 7 days.



    # 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us act

    like soap opera guys.



    # 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



    # 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

    commercials.



    # 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.



    # 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for

    example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea

    what Mauve is.



    # 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



    # 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading

    ability is not proof of how little we care about you.



    #1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's

    wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



    # 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you

    don't want to hear.



    # 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

    Really, you look fine!!!



    # 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.

    No, it doesn't matter which quiz.



    # 1. Football is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.



    # 1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.



    # 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

    tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camp.