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Wal-Mart has everything

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Volphins, Feb 18, 2004.

  1. Volphins

    Volphins

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    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2004
    Location:
    Knoxville,TN
    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
    him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

    "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
    "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
    urine sample and the computer tell you what's wrong and what
    to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...
    a lot cheaper than a doctor.

    "So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
    Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and
    asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
    Ten seconds later the computer ejects a printout:

    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
    heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
    Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some
    tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
    daughter, and **********d into the mixture for good measure. Jack
    hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
    dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:
    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
    better.

    Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart. ~1