Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. They approach the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the driver's window, and taps on it with his nighstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that? The Marine says, "You're on a United States Marine Corps Base, son. When I come up to your car, you'll have your ID card ready." Driver says, "I'm sorry, We're in the Air Force, and we didn't know." The Marine examines the I.D. card and gives it back to the driver. The Marine walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Marine smacks him with the nightstick. The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?" The Marine says,"Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?" The Marine says, "I know that as soon as you pull away you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that stuff with me!'" -----------------next joke----------------- Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, A Marine got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. He kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,"I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Marine, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Marine's boot and spit in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Seal said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it. The Marine returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston. As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" the Marine asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?"