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Useful Military Warnings

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by SecondHandJokes, May 11, 2013.

  1. SecondHandJokes

    SecondHandJokes Lifetime Member

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    "Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army

    "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop

    "If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

    "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

    "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

    "Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

    "Five-second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

    "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - Col. David Hackworth

    "If your attack is going too well, you're probably walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

    "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

    "Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." - Anonymous

    "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Army Recruit

    "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies

    (And lastly)

    "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - U.S. Ammo Troop
     
  2. Glock30Eric

    Glock30Eric .45 ACP

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    Good one! I like it!
     

  3. Batesmotel

    Batesmotel

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    I have the scars to prove it.
     
  4. DustyJacket

    DustyJacket Directiv 10-289

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    Fail

    The quote is "Front toward enemy" and was on the front of claymore mines.

    And certain AAC silencers, now.


    I do like:
    though I doubt its "source' named above.....
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2013
  5. samurairabbi

    samurairabbi Dungeon Schmuck

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    When your unit is short of everything except enemy, you're in combat!
     
  6. SecondHandJokes

    SecondHandJokes Lifetime Member

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    What are you, the joke police? I'll try to track down the original writer of this joke and let him know he failed your fact-check.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2013
  7. DWARREN123

    DWARREN123 Grumpy Old Guy Silver Member

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    Claymores beat ADT every time! :supergrin:
     
  8. ScottieG59

    ScottieG59

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    Well, the military has plenty of these. More than claymores need to face the enemy. I figured it would be safe right behind it, but it's not great there either.
     
  9. Eric

    Eric Big Giant Head Staff Member Admin Silver Member

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    I can assure you that you do not want to be anywhere near the back of one either. We fired one on a range once while my squad laid in hasty fighting positions (10 or twelve inch deep man-size trench. These had a chunk of telephone pole laying in the front of it.) 30 meters or so behind it. We were completely protected from the blast, but the concussion made me feel like a well-wrung dish towel. It was like a full-body punch. It is a nasty weapon. Eric
     
  10. mgentry

    mgentry

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    How about - There is "NO such thing as friendly fire."