Truths

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, May 27, 2005.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    Muskogee Ok.
    1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an
    impressive new book. It's called: "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

    2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

    3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only
    expects you to kiss his ring.

    4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

    5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
    the bathroom.

    6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
    drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

    7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
    there's shipping and handling, too.

    8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
    impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

    9. My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines & a
    large trash can.

    10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me
    off I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal
    fluid."

    11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription
    for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a
    condemned building.

    12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he is
    and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him
    rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He
    said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to
    bite."

    13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

    14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never
    point the wrong way.