Trial

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jul 22, 2003.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

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    A little 86 year old woman was on trial for murder, the following are some excerpts from that trial:

    Defense Attorney: "What is your age?"

    Little Old Woman: "I am 86 years old."

    Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us, in your own
    words, what happened to you?"

    Little Old Woman: "There I was, sitting in the swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits down beside me."

    Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?"

    Little Old Woman: "No, but he sure was friendly."

    Defense Attorney: "What happened after he sat down?"

    Little Old Woman: "He started to rub my thigh."

    Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?"

    Little Old Woman: "No, I didn't stop him."

    Defense Attorney: "Why not?"

    Little Old Woman: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago."

    Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"

    Little Old Woman: "He began to rub my breasts."

    Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"

    Little Old Woman: "No, I did not stop him."

    Defense Attorney: "Why not?"

    Little Old Woman: "Why, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!"

    Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"

    Little Old Woman: "Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just said to him, 'Take me, young man! Take me!'"

    Defense Attorney: "Did he take you?"

    Little Old Woman: "Hell, no. He just yelled, 'April Fools!'

    ........ So that's when I shot him."