Top Ten Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave Back 10. Afraid it will void warranty. 9. Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm. 8. Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for. 7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off. 6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos. 5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley. 4. Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by Honda. 3. Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else. 2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet. 1. They're jealous that after spending $30,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing. Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders Don't Wave Back 10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture. 9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip. 8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm. 7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him. 6. The espresso machine just finished. 5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved. 4. Was in a three-way conference call with stockbroker and accessories dealer. 3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen. 2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system. 1. Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard. Top Ten Reasons Why Dual Sport Riders Don't Wave Back 10. Vibration of knobby tires prevented the rider from taking his hand off the bars. 9. MX style safety gear was too bright to see you wave. 8. His front fender prevents you seeing him wave back. 7. Was too busy configuring his GPS/Enduro Roll/FishFinder. 6. His rain/wind/thorn/bug/bird proof thousand-dollar jacket won't allow it. 5. Was too busy re-arranging his 500 pounds of soft-sided luggage. 4. Doesn't recognize a wave in any language other than German. 3. Too busy splitting lanes/filtering through traffic. 2. One handed wheelies are not easy. 1. On single-track trails you stop, not wave. Top Ten Reasons Why Sport Bike Riders Don't Wave Back 10. They have not been riding long enough to know they are supposed to. 9. If they took one hand off the bars they would break their teeth. 8. They look way too cool with both hands on the bars. 7. It's hard to put their hand in the air doing 175. 6. Their skin tight-kevlar-ballistic-nylon-goose-leather suits prevent any position other than fetal. 5. One handed stoppies are ill advised. 4. They are waving, but you can't see it behind the neon green speed screen. 3. They were slipping their flip-flop back on. 2. Raising an arm allows bugs into the armholes of their tank tops. 1. They don't know how.