close

Privacy guaranteed - Your email is not shared with anyone.

Top 8 morons of 2002

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by WEMM61, Mar 9, 2003.

  1. WEMM61

    WEMM61 Basty Nastard

    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2001
    Location:
    Turned down offer to be in the cliq
    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

    AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
    intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
    Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

    Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside
    them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

    An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
    forced him to drive to two d! ifferent automated teller machines,
    wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY!

    A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the
    money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he
    tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT???

    Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
    couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
    man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot,"

    the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

    A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is! pregnant and her
    contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?"
    the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

    In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
    to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo!)

    8. THE GRAND FINALE

    Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
    hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE!
    .... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the
    trailer.

    Does anyone find it surprising that the majority of these took place in California??
     
  2. jon

    jon Outdoorsman Millennium Member

    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Aug 30, 1999
    Location:
    Scituate, MA, US

  3. Aquanewt

    Aquanewt

    Messages:
    870
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Location:
    Baltimore, MD, USA
    STILL A FUNNY STORY
     
  4. Cynthia

    Cynthia RN

    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2003
    Location:
    Midwest City, OK
    hrmm...my aunt and uncle live in Lake Isabella, CA....crazy, y0!