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Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by LewisQ, Feb 6, 2004.

  1. LewisQ

    LewisQ 357SIG/10mm

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    Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

    Specifications are for the weak and timid!

    This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!

    You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

    Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

    What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

    Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

    Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

    I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.

    A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!

    By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

    You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

    Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!