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Today's Stock Market Report:

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by ChuteTheMall, Aug 24, 2005.

  1. ChuteTheMall

    ChuteTheMall Wallbuilder and Weapon Bearer

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    Aug 20, 2000
    Colluder in Cahoots
    Helium was up

    Feathers were down

    Paper was stationary

    Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading

    Knives were up sharply

    Cows steered into a bull market

    Pencils lost a few points

    Hiking equipment was trailing

    Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline

    Weights were up in heavy trading

    Light switches were off

    Mining equipment hit rock bottom

    Diapers remain unchanged

    Shipping lines stayed at an even keel

    The market for raisins dried up

    Coca Cola fizzled

    Caterpillar stock inched up a bit

    Sun peaked at midday

    Balloon prices were inflated

    And, Scott Tissue touched a new bottom!