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To: All EMS Personnel

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Grog, Feb 8, 2005.

  1. Grog

    Grog Millennium Member

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    To: All EMS Personnel
    From: Chief of Operations
    Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

    It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following:

    1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH(messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

    2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

    3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to ****), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

    4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

    5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

    6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

    7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

    8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up", ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no longer playing records).
     
  2. 7.62mmFMJ

    7.62mmFMJ Always Forward

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  3. scottlang

    scottlang Millennium Member

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    YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD!!!!
     
  4. jlw_84

    jlw_84 General Glocker

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    Pure Gold. That one is getting printed out and hung up at the station.
     
  5. Aquanewt

    Aquanewt

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    DRT has been popular in the Baltimore, Murderland for some time.
     
  6. CRider

    CRider Crider who?

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    LMFAO, thank you!
     
  7. JByer323

    JByer323 Is it dead?

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    x2
     
  8. StoneGiant

    StoneGiant

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    The attached file contains many acronyms you won't want to use on patient reports....
     
  9. Slinger646

    Slinger646 King of Sling

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    Its amazing how many of these ive actually seen used....