Tips for driving in Canada

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by mhambi, Aug 29, 2003.

  1. mhambi

    mhambi κολασμένος

    Likes Received:
    Sep 25, 2001
    1. The American “five car-lengths apart” rule is interpreted in Canada as “five beer cans apart”. Remember, tailgating is the rule, not the exception.
    2. The speed limit on the 401 is set at 100kmh so that you’ll stay at a safe and respectable 180kmh.
    3. Hazard lights are fun. Check them at odd intervals to frighten other drivers and keep them on their toes.
    4. If a pedestrian is in your way, honk first, then kill.
    5. Natalie reminds me that a considerate driver will always leave a few pedestrians alive for the next driver.
    6. Motorcycles are allowed on sidewalks if there are no moose.
    7. The speed limit in Toronto parking lots is a mere 120kmh, so slow it down, Speed Racer.
    8. Raccoons have the right of way in downtown Toronto. Just ask them.
    9. Headlights are for wussies. And Americans. You decide.
    10. When an officer checks your vehicle for beer, he’s just thirsty. Crack one open for him. It’s traditional.
    11. No, that homeless woman with the crutch screaming at the traffic signal isn’t really a homeless woman with the crutch screaming at the traffic signal. It’s part of Canada’s festive Streetside Kabuki theatre.
    12. Toronto has what’s known as reversing lanes. These are lanes in which drivers change direction abruptly in an effort to shake tourists off their tails.
    13. It is not uncommon for Canadian cars to drop from the sky in search of prey.
    14. Louisa would like to point out that the double yellow lines aid drivers in high-speed passing at a light that’s been red for nine minutes.
    15. The Canadian 401 Highway: All the thrills of NASCAR racing, with none of the American white trash.
  2. Manjo


    Likes Received:
    Nov 28, 2001
    Toronto, Canada
    Damn straight!

    Always fun to go on the 401!

  3. Rogue

    Rogue X-MEN Millennium Member

    Likes Received:
    Aug 23, 1999
    Ditto the 401.

    I love how they have signs up to tell you exactly how much an infraction will cost you, broken down by 10 kph increments. But then, I think to myself, it's only $200 CANADIAN, so really, it's only like $150 in US dollars - So no big!!