Three surgeons were playing golf together at a course near Boston and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm probably the best surgeon in Massachusetts, because a patient of mine who is a concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them and 8 months later, would you believe she performed a private concert for the Queen of England?!" The next one said, "That's nothing. I had a patient, a young man who lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are good but not at my skill level yet. Several years ago a fellow who was high on pot and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's rear and a large nose; and now John is campaigning for president of the United States."