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Thoughts

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by okie, Jun 23, 2004.

  1. okie

    okie GT Mayor

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2001
    Location:
    Muskogee Ok.
    (1) My husband and I divorced over religious
    > differences. He thought he
    > was God and I didn't!
    >
    > (2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
    > minute of it.
    >
    > (3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend
    > on Me!
    >
    > (4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal
    > to kill them.
    >
    > (5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    >
    > (6) Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out
    > alive.
    >
    > (7) You're just jealous because the voices only
    > talk to me.
    >
    > (8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    >
    > (9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    >
    > (10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is
    > research.
    >
    > (11) I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are
    > missing.
    >
    > (12) Ou!t of mymind. Back in five minutes.
    >
    > (13) Nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy,
    > why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
    > medicine.
    >
    > (14) God must love stupid people; he made so many.
    >
    > (15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    >
    > (16) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to
    > get you.
    >
    > (17) Consciousness: that annoying time between
    > naps.
    >
    > (18) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    >
    > (19) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile
    > Island cleanup team.
    >
    > (20) Being "over the hill" is much better than
    > being under it!
    >
    > (21) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to
    > Be When I Grew
    > up.
    >
    > (22) Procrastinate Now!
    >
    > (23) My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
    >
    > (24) I Have a Degree !inLiberal Arts; Do You Want
    > Fries With That?
    >
    > (25) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled
    > with the software.
    >
    > (26) A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    >
    > (27) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a
    > cash advance.
    >
    > (28) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
    >
    > (29) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
    > already taken.
    >
    > (30) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
    > dead.
    >
    > (31) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it
    > uses up three
    > thousand times the memory.
    >
    > (32) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a
    > lifetime commitment
    > for a pig.
    >
    > (33) The trouble with life is there's no background
    > music.
    >
    > (34) The original point and click device was a
    > Smith andWesson.
    >