Those of us old enough to remember...........

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Ranger.357, Sep 23, 2007.

  1. Ranger.357

    Ranger.357

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    Those of us old enough to remember the old Hollywood Squares Game in the 70's will appreciate this. Responses were spontaneous and not scripted as they are now.


    Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
    A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...

    Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or woman?
    A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
    A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

    Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
    A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

    Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your Hands while talking?
    A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

    Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
    A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

    Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
    A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
    A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

    Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
    A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

    Q: According to Ann Landers, is anything wrong with the habit of kissing A lot of people?
    A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

    Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
    A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

    Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
    A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

    Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
    A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
    A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
    A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

    Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A: Charley Weaver: His feet

    Q: Do female frogs croak?
    A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

    Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
    A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice