A man owned a small ranch in Texas. The Texas Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well, there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 per week, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night," replied the rancher. "That's the guy I want to talk to - the half-wit," says the agent. "That would be me," replied the rancher.