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Things You Should Have Learned By Middle Age

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by big joe, Jul 9, 2003.

  1. big joe

    big joe

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    THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY MIDDLE AGE
    1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
    2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
    3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing
    in a garage makes you a car.
    4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
    5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
    7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
    8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
    9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
    10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
    11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
    12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so
    good.
    13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
    14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
    15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes
     
  2. Garfield_1969

    Garfield_1969

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    ;a ;a