"Things To Ponder"

Discussion in 'The Lighter Side' started by Glockdude1, Nov 14, 2004.

  1. Glockdude1

    Glockdude1 Federal Member CLM

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    May 24, 2000
    "Things To Ponder"

    1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
    I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink
    whatever comes out?"

    2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken

    there... Why did he cross the road?"

    3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the

    toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being

    would eat?

    4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there

    a song about him?

    6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    7. If the professor on Gilligan'sIsland can make a radio

    out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for

    the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask

    where the bathroom is?

    9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you

    get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on

    all fours? They're both dogs!

    11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that

    Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is

    made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality

    come from morons?

    15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by

    a mouse?

    16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle

    Little Star have the same tune?

    17. Stop singing and read on

    18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside

    the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in

    your butt?

    20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's

    face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a

    car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once

    make it arrive faster?

    22. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail

    address in the first place?