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Things only cops understand

Discussion in 'Cop Talk' started by Doc_Shane, Apr 17, 2017.

  1. Doc_Shane

    Doc_Shane Chaos Inc.

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    That moment when you're on patrol and your guts start bubbling, the frantic search for the closest restroom and the epic struggle to shed a gunbelt before something bad happens......

    What have you got?
     
  2. Jed Cooper

    Jed Cooper Silver Member

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  3. Doc_Shane

    Doc_Shane Chaos Inc.

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    Only if you fumble with the triple lock ultra mega secure buckle.
     
  4. Dragoon44

    Dragoon44 Unfair Facist Lifetime Member

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    You only need to lose the race to the toilet once to swear off taco Bell on Midnight's.

     
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  5. ateamer

    ateamer NRA4EVR

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    One thing that helps is knowing the location of all the construction sites and farms in your beat that have unlocked porta-potties. Also a key or the lock code for your volunteer fire stations.
     
  6. JK-linux

    JK-linux

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    Imodium AD and Tums in the duffle bag. Always.
     
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  7. racer11

    racer11

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    I was in on a domestic violence call and this issue struck me with nothing but fury and fire. Among the ruckus and tense environment I had to call a time out and explain my situation to the offending couple. They both sat down and waited quietly till I finished in their bathroom and I could resume business. Somehow the unusual need resolved the tesion and we all solved the issue and I went on my way and they lived happily ever after,,,I assume.
     
  8. Ftttu

    Ftttu

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    I was in training and at the scene of a family disturbance when I really really had to go all of a sudden. The woman victim was crying like crazy, telling me the horrible things her husband and done to her when I had to tell her I had to use her bathroom. She stopped crying, and told me where her bathroom was located in a relatively calm voice, and I did my emergency business. When I finished, she started crying like crazy again while telling me the horrible things her husband had done to her.
     
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  9. The Fist Of Goodness

    The Fist Of Goodness

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    They were just frightened by the sounds (and screams?) coming through the bathroom door. That was shock on their face when you came out. :supergrin:
     
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  10. Sniff

    Sniff

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    I've posted previously about the time I got sudden 'bubble guts' at work.

    We were stuck in heavy traffic on the motorway during peak afternoon traffic.

    I asked my partner if he knew where the xxxxxxx police station was. He said he did so I reached over, turned the red and blues on and said "Let's go!".

    I only just made it.
     
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  11. pgg00

    pgg00

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    When you come into the PD parking lot and find belt keepers leading into the door where someone barely made it
     
  12. steveksux

    steveksux Massive Member

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    Until they went in the bathroom and cursed the day you were born.

    Randy

    Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk
     
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  13. pgg00

    pgg00

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    I had one that i was FTOing. Rookie was taking a burg report. All of a sudden I can feel my face going pale and the guts churning. I left him to take statements and barely made it into a fire department a block away. I think i left the lights going on the car while running in
     
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  14. steveksux

    steveksux Massive Member

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    A common enemy tends to unite people.

    Randy

    Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk
     
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  15. kirgi08

    kirgi08 Watcher. Silver Member

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  16. refugeepj

    refugeepj

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    try being a truck driver.
    lots of places that semi can't hide.
     
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  17. collim1

    collim1 Because Alexa said so!

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    Let's just say a certain unnamed Coptalker keeps a spare uniform, clean drawers, baby wipes, and Immodium AD in his locker for just such occasions.

    If you police long enough it will happen eventually.

    I got chewed out once for taking a dump in a possible suicide's house. I was accused of disturbing the scene. My response was "dude I just made my own crime scene in there, the sweat on my brow should indicate I am not in the mood to hear it from a desk jockey"

    Long hours, tons of coffee, and eating on the go inevitably lead to some emergency situations.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
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  18. seanmac45

    seanmac45 CLM

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    Let's not forget rescue shears in your bag to cut off offending undies if you have high laced boots on. Can be a life saver.
     
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  19. Jed Cooper

    Jed Cooper Silver Member

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    You really know your chit!
     
  20. ateamer

    ateamer NRA4EVR

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    One Saturday around noon, I was at an RP's house picking up a bicycle they'd found in their yard. All of a sudden, the Chinese food I had for lunch is declaring an emergency and pulling the ejection handle. I asked to use their bathroom, dashed for it and hurled for a couple minutes. My guts hurt so much I didn't even care enough to be embarrassed.

    I had to stop and hurl again on the way to HQ, dropped off the bike and went home sick. As I was getting into my POV, the LT met me and made a pretty direct accusation of going home sick to get an early start on the weekend (Saturday was our team's Friday). Mid-sentence and as if on cue, I leaned out the door as the third wave attacked. LT barely avoided having his boots ruined, and left without further comment.

    Oh, and I did not eat at that restaurant again. Even if it was half price.
     
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